i feel the universe greeting me

TFAPhotoEssay06, originally uploaded by asuinitiatives.

I feel like an addict.

I cannot explain how strange it is to wake up each morning, fighting off my basic instincts, which all push me to burrow back under the covers. Instead I eagerly throw on my nicest clothes and head out for the day, pumped for an hour drive to work. My body has never enjoyed early rising and it's really no different now, but I have something great waiting for me.

Having the ability to touch the lives of children each and every day is tremendously motivating and gives true meaning to all the work I do. I know that things will be different once I get my own classroom... I'll have new gripes and new obstacles to overcome... but the truth of the matter is that it is utterly heart-breaking to leave a school, without the knowledge of when I'll be back or whether or not the 5 minute side-mini-lesson really sunk in for the student I helped at the end of class.

The weekends are tough because although, I'm ecstatic that I have the time to recollect and relax, I begin to miss the kids and their constant stream of questions, observations, and discoveries. I can't seem to get enough of it.

Teaching is my greatest goal and my greatest fear. It's a fear that I desperately want to confront and overcome and one school, in particular, stands out against the rest as a place that supports and strengthens the teachers' journeys, in the classroom. I want to drive my students to a greater future and stay in touch as they move on to high school and college.

I'm looking on towards a better future.
And I can't get enough of it!

<sub>My love is safe for the universe
See me now I'm bursting
On one planet, so many turns
Different worlds
Singing "Ah-la-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah"

Fill my heart with discipline
Put there for the teaching
In my head see clouds of stairs
Help me as I'm reaching
The future's paved with better days

Not running from something
I'm running towards the day
Wide awake

A whisper once quiet
Now rising to a scream
Right in me

I'm falling, free falling
Words calling me
Up off my knees

I'm soaring and darling
You'll be the one that I can need
Still be free

Our future's paved with better days
[Eddie Vedder]</sub>

today is a good day, but...

265/365 Year Two, originally uploaded by coreena.

yesterday was better.

My eyes are acting up again, besides the fact that I got my allergy test and tested negative for everything. It's really frustrating and quite a blow to my confidence, entering new classrooms each day. It means that I am forced to talk about it each and every day. To explain why my eyes look red and watery over and over again. *le sigh*

I wasn't called in to work today, which means I had time to take care of my eyes as best as I can. I am hoping that, although they're still bad now, they will be better by tomorrow morning. Also, hoping to actually have WORK tomorrow. I hate waiting by a phone that doesn't ring. I can't wait until I have a real job.

<sup>I saw you looking at me girl
When I first set foot into the room
You didn't want me to see girl
You didn't wanna lay your cards so soon

I see you mulling it over
You wonder what your friends might think of you
Angel on your shoulder
But you know just what you want to do

No I don't need to know a thing about your past
No I just want one night with you no strings attached
And I know that we might not be the perfect match
And i just want one night with you no strings attached
[Mayer Hawthorne]</sup>