above, there is a new moon

New Moon, originally uploaded by mkvanderlofske.

I was out all day.
I saw New Moon.
I'm not attached
to the characters
at all anymore,
so it was
less than exciting.
I'll just have to see it again.

do you want to go seaside?

Do you want to go to the seaside?, originally uploaded by becaboo.

I know that I do.

A peaceful trip to the ocean.
Time away from the mundane.
Any good friends want to join me?
I miss you and want to see you.
I love you all so much.

they like me... they really do

Okay, shoot away., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I'm excited and frustrated at the same time, trying to edit this story that was peer-reviewed this morning. I thought I'd easily fix it tonight and move on to write the next thing I have on my mind. However, I have arrived at an impasse. I fix a few things, get annoyed by the wording, and rest for a bit. I'm still getting it done, just not very quickly. And I'm becoming more and more worried that I might not ever get to the next works. If I get to them, it will be awesome... and don't you forget it!!

He loves me, He loves me not

It always hopes (065/365), originally uploaded by Katherine Elizabeth.

He Loves me, He Loves me not.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love
is
patient,
love
is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not
proud. It is not rude,
it
is
not
self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record
of wrongs.
Love does not delight in the evil but
rejoices in the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always
perseveres.


I know that He loves me.

been running around all day

red nails, originally uploaded by cannelle-vanille.

Mmm... Christmas is at my fingertips...

Rehearsal tonight was fun.

I'm looking forward to the Holiday season! :D

somedays you could float away

Fly, originally uploaded by igor.shmel.

I had breakfast with the wonderful Candace today.
I couldn't imagine a better way to spend a Sunday.
As for the week, it has been an awakening of sorts.
I'm thankful for the growth & gained self-awareness.
I look forward to the following weeks and months.

I also wrote up my budgets tonight,
determining how much I need to start making...
I guess I need to be a teacher after all.
*le sigh*

whos are in whoville tonight

Whos In Whoville, originally uploaded by gregeichelberger.

I wonder which wig I will be wearing... Yes, I will be a Who in Traditions. So will that entice more people to come and see me perform? I'd love to actually have friends come to see what I've been working on for months!

In order to get away from the computer, I will not be posting a very long blog today. I want to just get some reading done for class and spend time in the Bible. If I feel so inclined, I may come back and add a bit more, but don't count on it. :)

i watched my daddy cry tonight

DQ-Live-detail2, originally uploaded by DanielleQ.

His best friend died tonight.
All I could think to do was offer a hug.

I got locked in the warehouse after rehearsal.
I cried.

It's been a rough night for me.

leg-warmers and winter lattes

Aroma Coffee | Wall Art | Round 2, originally uploaded by PatrickFore.

I'm on a bit of a coffee high, thanks to Coffee Bean's holiday give-away today. I love it. I just went in and asked for a peppermint mocha coffee drink. Mm... The holidays.

I would love to begin tackling the topics I mentioned earlier this week, but honestly, they're irrelevant to me right now (minus the technology one, which I hope to write about at the end of the week). I don't feel sad, or lost, or broken, or confused. I feel... happy.

God has blessed me in incredible ways!!


Goodnight and amen. :)

ravings in a late night posting

TMA_5649, originally uploaded by fritz1948.

I am posting late, because I just got home from an amazing night of dancing. It's amazing how much more fun you can have when you're in a good place.

I spent my morning sleeping in, eating eggs for breakfast, and doing a bit of dishes. I took off around 10:50 to get my car fixed and what was supposed to be a 45 minute job, turned into four hours. But I didn't mind at all. Actually, I didn't even notice that it had been that long. I wasn't hungry because the eggs really held me over and I was busy correcting and commenting on two peer writings. Once I finished with those, I started reading the Watchmen, so I've read the first chapter. It was really great to get things done.

Once home, I said goodbye to my parents, who left for the evening, and did a few things on my computer before finishing up the dishes, doing laundry, and completing my statistics homework (which was an utter bear!). It feels so good to get it all done and tomorrow, I will concentrate on typing up the commentaries and the poetry review I went to last week, as well as study for Friday's stats quiz. I felt accomplished and ready for a reward, so I went out to the Firehouse.

I miss dancing and tonight was the perfect night to get back into it. Mind you, I was exhausted after staying in sick for two weeks, but I didn't hold back and the dances were fantastic! I want to get out as much as possible and I ought to do it now, before the show really starts to pick up!

. : .

As for God's stirrings in my life, today, as you can probably see, was a complete blessing. I stayed in high spirits. I was very productive. And I had plenty of time to spend with Him. Before my day started, I got up and read my Bible. Something that I read last night and again this morning was Luke 4, which tells the story of Jesus avoiding the Devil's temptations. It reminded me of all we have been talking about at church and in community group. Jesus was able to delay gratification in order to acquire a greater gift in return.

It's as simple as that.

Why don't you have sex? God says not to... No! God has something greater in mind for me and I don't want to miss out on that, if it ever presents itself. So, why aren't you out dating? Well, I want to... No! I am waiting for the person God has for me and feel no need to hurry the process by seeking him out.

It's not about what I want or how I feel right now. It's about the long-term effects of the decisions made now. That includes the intentions behind what it is that you choose. I have been making "right here, right now" decisions and I am taking necessary steps to reverse that!

Any thoughts, comments, recommendations? :]

just when i am at my most low

4th Sunday: Let it go from here, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

'Bring on the evening hours,' I cry.
'Bring on the evidence of my life.'

Let it go,
Let it go from here...
I don't know.
Let it go,
Let it go from here...
I don't know,
Don't know.

I have been feeling so broken lately. Completely burdened by the world around me, the "woulds," "coulds," and "should-have-beens." I feel, for the first time in SUCH a long time, a sort of peace that only comes from God's truth. I am so incredibly thankful for the amazing people in my community group and the great volumes that God spoke in and through them tonight. I, in no way, could have found my way back to Him on my own and the brokenness that I have been consumed with has become a portal back to the trust I used to experience each day. So through this, I recognize the lack of trust and dependance that I have in Him lately and ironically, can now feel that faith and dependance returning.


What hurts more than just dying,
Is living, barely alive.
After all, it's easier than falling short every time.
I felt the pain and set fire
To the grace that I so desperately needed to take.
Day and night, frozen silent in blinding violent fear,
A song for my fight
Comes spilling, the words I so desperately needed to hear.

Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to hurt you feel inside...
Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to hurt you feel.

I was brought up through the ashes,
Like a phoenix birthing wings.
And I will fight for my disasters.
I will take the flight of kings.

My life is already planned out for me and I am not the planner. How many times can I say this to myself before I actually stop and listen. My own stubbornness is one of the most frustrating things in my life. And that may never change for me, but I have faith that God has provided me with essential tools to make this easier. I may at times forget about it, but community and friendship is key for me. And more than just showing up. For the past year, that's what I've been doing, merely showing up.

I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm ready to socialize.

But this is not the case. This is actually the reason I have grown uncomfortable with crowds of people. I am forced to put on an act of confidence, put-togetherness, and ease, all of which, I am seriously lacking. The truth is that I am completely uneasy with my lack of organization, so much so that I have become uneasy, thus minimizing the confidence I still have. Although I have God and have learned so much about and from Him, I have forgotten what it means to be child-like, in the moment, a person who can just be, with being right and in-the-know.

It's hard still, because with each step I take towards knowing and experiencing God again, I think about the possible ways that might bring back the relationship that just ended. I do not want to deny myself those feelings (especially so, since I cannot change them easily), but I want to feel a greater need for God than him or anything else.

I have been childish lately. I have satisfied the "needs" that I felt and found ways to avoid any sort of adult behavior. Watching tv, playing online, getting fast food, playing the victim. At times, these may have been valid coping methods, but at this point, I cannot ignore them or pass them off as anything but selfish and foolish. I need to grow up, whether or not I know of the outcome. I cannot continue to live fearing what might or might not come to be. I want to live God's will for my life and right now, that requires me to do homework, do laundry, do dishes, dance to make someone else's night better, practice music that we learn in practice, calculate my bills and determine a needed income, and applying for jobs to fulfill that need.

I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start experiencing what it means to be living, in the world, and making a difference. I want to go to the beach, feel the sea breeze, dance in the moonlight, talk with friends, travel to Seattle, create art, and relay God's light and His message to those around me. Starting now.

Thank you for showing me the way back to You!!

i'm living the unexamined life

091031-Cedar01, originally uploaded by DanielleQ.

So this weekend, my church is participating in a fast, from food or anything else that by abstaining would bring you closer to God. I am giving up television (yes, that includes episodes or clips from the internet) and music. Now, music is not bad to me at all, but in order to hear God, I want to remain in silence as often as I can, thus no music.

I am always thinking and today wasn't any different, but for some reason it felt more important, more significant. I have down lately (as you know) and the past few weeks I've been sick and run-down. It could be that I feel so broken or just because I'm so emotional as of late, but either way, I have thought of a few topics that I would like to blog about this week:

a dependency on technology
insecure & out of synch: my plan?
in need of another: am i weak?
motherhood: selfless and selfish
career woman vs. mother: may i?
[the last two may be combined]

They are just beginnings of thoughts right now and since it is a holiday on wednesday, I should have plenty of time to mull over the things I want to say and how I want to say them. I am just going to try to allow God to stir in me and work things out inside of me. I have much to overcome and I am unable to bear the burden alone alone any longer. God, please, overwhelm me.


side note: Mita's engaged, Stang is preggers, and my cousin, Matt, just proposed to his long-time girlfriend.

change & growth opportunities

BabyHat-Grow-Cedar, originally uploaded by DanielleQ.

Wow.
There are a lot of life-changes happening for those around me. My cousin just got engaged, friends are planning weddings, and even some pregnancies. It's exciting, encouraging, and a bit disheartening. I am growing... I hope... I just pray that my hopes and desires are from God and will come to be in God's timing. In the meantime, I need to find something I can fight for. Direct my path, God.

i was too busy editing photos

No Photos, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I remembered to get the blog up for the day prior but not the present day. Oops. I didn't do much. Edited photos, hung out with mom, and relaxed all night. All in all, it was a good day. :]

my verona, my sweetest friend

Tangled Web, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I spent my afternoon with this pretty lady.
Didn't even realize that my blog was ignored.
Oops!

the girl is absolutely wonderful

Laura, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I am so thankful that we met.
I'm so blessed to be brought together when we were.
She has eased my heart in many ways.
This is my honoring of her.
Thanks.

p.s. It's Sesame Street's birthday. Happy 40th! :)

so much love for little seester

[262/366] Framed Artwork, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I love my Lil Sis.
That's all I care to share with you all today.
My Lil is amazing and I love her.

:)


Miss you, Lil.

i am just really... so very tired

paranoid (351/365), originally uploaded by Katherine Elizabeth.

I now have a raspy sick voice.
I'm hoping to get well soon.
Heh.

9 o'clock is time for breakfast

breakfast time, originally uploaded by marla_sea.

I totally love daylight savings time!!

I woke up earlier than my alarm and felt totally rested!
Had breakfast at 9... a steak sandwich... told you we made up.
And I left for school, to be late as usual... LoL.

The only thing I have to complain about is this HORRENDOUS cough, which is earsplitting and throat-scarring! I'm eager to be well.

sickness has brought me down

I've been tagged! 16 random things about me., originally uploaded by naughtonlucy.

I felt dead all day and just didn't notice that I never stopped to blog. I wasn't able to worship with Frippleville, due to the sickness. However, I got a big homework assignment done and really enjoyed my extra hour of sleep. LoL. Even though I thought I was late when I woke up. I had a great night out watching movies on Halloween and spent most of my Sunday watching tv, because it was the only thing I had enough energy to do.

Btw, I have reconciled with meat... Mmmm....