in need of a date, stat!

Day 4: This is my life, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I have been lacking lately...

In spirit, in health, in sanity, in time...


Now don't read into my title & start making assumptions:

I haven't convinced myself that I need a man.

I don't believe that a romantic relationship is necessary.

However, I know that I need to reconnect with God...

And soon.


So I intend to schedule a date with my True Love.

I miss hearing His voice and feeling His love.

And just in time for Valentine's Day.

Perfect.


Gems:
sleeping in
Hula
my Jesus attire
rides home
shows with friends

becoming more undignified

Day 3: Eat Pray Love, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Could I walk around with dust on my knees?
Not just a little, but an obvious and obnoxious amount...
This is not something that would happen always.
Just when I have prayed.
Would I wear the declaration of sought forgiveness?
The declaration of my sinful nature?
How would this outward appearance change my habits?
Would I cease all prayers?
Would I pray more?


"I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor"
[2 Samuel 6:21b-22]

I want that.
I want to humiliate myself in front of everyone...
All for the cause of His holy name!
I want to celebrate before the Lord and His people.

Gems:
free smoothies
gym antics
bathroom photo shoot
no transaction fee
blues dancing

ashes to ashes & dust to dust

Day 2: Go ash yourself., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought"
- Matthew 5:5 (the Message)

I wore ashes last night. And for someone who was so excited about this new chapter and excited to get refocused on the important things... I am pretty dang frazzled. Frustrated. Stressed. Angered. Discontent.

[So in the hope of connecting with God and finding His peace,
I am going to attempt to answer these following questions.]
What consumes my thoughts and plans?
Right now, the Capstone and the classes I'm playing catch-up in. The reason they are consuming my thoughts is because I wasn't diligent enough in my studies from the beginning and I now feel overwhelmed with all that needs to get done and guilty about allowing myself to fall behind.
What holds my dearest allegiance?
Relationships probably. I can't really think of one thing that holds a significantly higher allegiance, so that's the best that I can come up with. The good thing about this is that I cherish the relationships that challenge me to grow the most!
Who or what tells me who I am?
God. I know that I'm nothing without Him and made perfect with Him in my life... I just forget from time to time. I have experienced a closeness with God that surpasses anything else in my life. I miss that time, even though I was suffering more than I could handle on my own. He met me in my suffering.
What gives me security and comfort?
God. There are small things that I might do to feel secure and comfortable, but times like this morning [in the Word] and right now [blogging about God] are the most fulfilling and peaceful.
What makes me feel whole and complete?
God. No matter how much I enjoy swing dancing, or how many people I meet at school, how many kids I teach, or how little I manage to do incorrectly, none of these encompass who I am. Through Him I have found significance, wholeness, and a purpose. Nothing else can begin to compare.
Who meets my deepest needs?
God. I am a single woman, a significant person, and in a relationship that means the world to me. I am infatuated with God and the love He gives me. It would take a divine intervention for me to allow another man into my life.

So I may have lacked in the first few questions, but I feel wonderful after answering the last ones. I love that reflecting on God and His plan for me and my life can bring me back to a fulfilling contentment and peace.
"By the sweat of your face You will eat bread till you return to the ground because from it you were taken; For you are dust and to dust you shall return" (Genesis 3:19).

Gems:
wearing ashes
finding peace
finished homework
theatre class
swing dancing tonight

on the first day of Lent...

Day 1: Candle Light, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

... my true love gave to me...
a day off from going to the gym.

So what do I do with my new-found time?
Try to warm myself by candlelight.

I'm not sure this is going to work... but I'm going to try to take a new every day for the forty days of Lent and use them for my blog. They may be amazing and they quite possibly could be just pure crap. That's the fun mysterious element of the whole thing! Either way, I hope that I'm able to reflect more and be attentive to the words of God during this time.

TV is a nuisance and a distraction and I shouldn't depend on it as much as I do. I have given it up for Lent and I'm not perfect... What's the first thing I did this morning? Turn on the TV and flip for cartoons. I caught myself and turned it off right away, but it's still frustrating that I have such an annoying habit.

Today's Flood Lent devotional talked about identity and the question posed was: What would your six-word memoir be?
My answer: Constantly seeking out God's perfect plan.

I put too much emphasis on the opinions that others have of me.
I've taken great strides to counter this, but I'm still growing.
I know God's love for me is never-ending and most important.
I want to remember that always and I pray this time will encourage it.

I want to run on kairos, not chronos...
["teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" - psalm 90:12]

Gems:
date date date
community group
new projects
true "time" of kairos
philosophical books

i got a secret...

Nenonino & Nenonina, originally uploaded by L y L a.

Don't you just wish you knew...


Gems:
finishing homework
season tickets
crazy drama activities
mutual dislike
unofficial & impromptu

making wallpaper look good

Wallflower 130/365, originally uploaded by jgcf.

Sometimes I just can't bring myself to be social.
Tonight was one of those nights.
I know that a lot of people don't view me as antisocial.
It's not too uncommon for me to feel out of place.
One I get the feeling, it's nearly impossible to shake it!
Either way, it was great seeing so many old faces.
You never realize that you miss someone till they're gone.
Cliche? Maybe, but true none-the-less.

My class went well.
I reviewed the old dances and taught a new one.
Having several kids record the steps on paper will help
... I think.

My plan is to finish my homework tonight.
I want to actually have a relaxed day at school tomorrow.
I am not at all excited about this Capstone project.
I'm hoping it writes itself because I can hardly think about it.

On that note, I decided on everything today.
Although I won't be active, I'm hoping to stay involved!
Oh, and I won't be dancing tomorrow night after all.
Mardi Gras ruins everything...
Well, darn.
I still have Friday!

Gems:
the gym
lunch with the roommate
phone meetings
tea parties
fake engagements

loading up on the trials

day 54: "i can't carry more, Lord", originally uploaded by Jessi Hagood.

I really need prayer this week and anyone can help.
I know that there are important things happening.
I am not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.
I may have overestimated my limits again.
I can't decide half-heartedly about this.
God, I need your help right now.
Lift these burdens from me.
Carry me this week.
Pull me closer.
I want You.
Now!
AMEN.

Gems:
understanding supervisors
a packed room for FloodKids
getting ruined clothes replaced
late-night text conversations
my car heater & Starbucks

he's a dream pup

I *heart* Bruno., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

You just wish you had a dog this beautiful!!

I am down at my parents' house right now, doing laundry and upon my arrival, I was greeted amazingly well by my puppy, Bruno. He loves me and I must say, he looks enormous after playing with the little pip-squeek pup, Hula. Onto load number three of my laundry... I can't believe I have gone so long without doing any of my laundry!!

Gems:
time with the sorority
salsa dancing & hip hop
Monaco
video-cassette players
Bruno's puppy mentality

scholarly love

Stacks, originally uploaded by Nrbelex.

Books:
_{Cleopatra's Nose: Essays on the Unexpected by Daniel J. Boorstin
The Image or What Happened to the American Dream by Daniel J. Boorstin
Giants of Jazz by Studs Terkel
The Great Divide by Studs Terkel
The Recurring Silent Spring by H. Patricia Hynes
Scientists of the Industrial Revolution by J.G. Crowther
Breakthrough: The Saga of Jonas Salk by Richard Carter}

A lot of books, I know... But I got two books by each historian and got a book each for three scientists. I will not be writing about three scientists, but I'm calling the third my backup! Hopefully, the books I got for the historians are exactly what I need, because I don't want to look for more!! So as everyone else is out playing tonight, I plan to begin working my way through the stack, in hopes that this Capstone will write itself! Here's to hoping.

Gems:
productivity
AP time with Susu
alone time in the library
One Year Daily Grind
my health

seeking pure tranquility

tranquility, originally uploaded by Jorge Sato.

So I think my sickness was God's way of forcing me to slow down. I'm stubborn. I'm stuck in my ways. And I'm often very opposed to just stop for even a second. I know it's important to rest, but rest is so hard to schedule in these days. I plan on making that happen... I hope.

Gems:
the amazing force of God
free pass for my absences
clearing my body of sickness
great bands in Aztec Center
going back out to dance!!

as the fever breaks

A New Beginning, originally uploaded by v1shous.

So I woke up this morning feeling a million times better!!
My fever is now gone (I'm at 97.2 degrees).
The muscles in my legs aren't sore.
I was even able to eat today.
Thanks to Corner Bakery!
I also received enough smoothies to last a week today. My dad brought me one this morning and Veronica brought me another with my lunch. I have some amazing friends! Now to get well before Community Group tonight... At least I'm not still sleepy. If only I could stop the need to blow my nose every five seconds!

Gems:
smoothies from Robeks
God's healing power
heathy appetites
family love
amazing friends

death, sweet death

Day 22, January 22rd 2007, originally uploaded by Glimpsing Home.

Still sick.
I'm pretty much dead after today.
My fever is at a temperature of 100.9 degrees.
I had been really excited about going dancing tonight.
I'm sad I can't go now.
Pray for me.


Gems:
caring people
doctor's notes
all-day naps
great friends
still standing... erm... alive

not going to school tomorrow

whatever it takes, originally uploaded by kreativekell.

"I've learned that no matter what happens,
or how bad it seems today,
life does go on,
and it will be better tomorrow."

- Maya Angelou
I'm too weak, too tired, and too ill to post today.
Pray for me.


Gems:
waking up this morning
tea from a self-less friend
getting errands done, finally
making it to teach my class
first ADX meeting of 2008

pounced me like a ninja

Day 94, originally uploaded by kimberly hurst.

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox.
And there’s one more—that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue—
It might be instamatic flue.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broken—
My hips hurt when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a silver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is—what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is… Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!"

- Shel Silverstein
TODAY'S HEADLINE: I'm sick!


Gems:
the ability to wake up this morning
getting treated to Starbucks
cleaner car
refilled car tires
office 2008 for my compy

sunday morning rain is falling

09.08.2007, originally uploaded by Femke B..

Keith had a few suggestions for my downpour preparation:
Take cover,
Boil water for hot chocolate,
Create a playlist of songs about rain.

So, I've done the first and third and it's possible that I might do the second one. I am hanging out in my apartment, going through my tunes and scarfing on the pizza I ordered. Yes, I'm so sad that I ordered in. Well, I'm going to get back to my grub and cheer movie.

Gems:
sleeping in
book clearances
hot dog on a stick
27 dresses
Veronica & Lil Sis

get down tonight, bay-bay

Joe & Ronni, originally uploaded by Swifty.

I didn't go to the gym today.

I forgot my transit pass at home.

I sat through my capstone briefing.

But I did go dancing tonight.


Veronica and I burned up the dance floor at Atomic Ballroom. It was a good night of fun, sarcasm, and dancing. I think I can handle this life, as long as I don't have to give up my groove-thang!

Gems:
waking up for Robeks
free trolley ride
Veronica
being remembered
slumber parties

lead... i will follow

Jonny's lead, originally uploaded by lizdance14.

Today was a great day. First day without that ridiculous dance class just started out my good day. The rain tried to ruin my day, but I loved it. My school books definitely factored in to a more difficult afternoon, but still no dice. I should have missed the bus even, but Brandy helped me find the stop just in time! To end my great day in the perfect way, I made the trek out to the Firehouse for amazing conversations, connections, and people. It's days like these that I want to just get down on my knees and praise God!! I'm going to read my Bible and hit the hay.

Gems:
time spent with Nicole
transit travel
groovy dance moves
the pursuit
Godly gentlemen

we go together?

{We Belong Together}, originally uploaded by Adoodi , ™ / At Sealine for 4 days ! ,.

Or do we?

[I am sure I had MANY other things that I intended this blog to be about... I just can't bring myself to write about all of those things that seem so insignificant as school or working out. So, I'm just not going to]

Do you know that he's the one when you meet him? I've always said "no." But I can just imagine that somewhere down the line, God brings you that perfect someone. You meet and can't explain this emotion, a feeling, that is so overwhelming that you are unable to explain it. Now try. Explain it. Explain this thing that you've never experienced before and may not experience ever again. Do you think you'd come up with the right answer? On your own? No guidance. It's up to you to decipher and act upon this amazing phenomena. Go! You'd probably fail, right? I would. So, why should we consider ourselves as the ones deciding and choosing our relationship(s)? We're not good at it. Why not give it over to the One who is perfect, all-knowing, and wonderful? That's all I long for. I pure, Godly, and blessed relationship through Christ. I trust that He will bring it when and if it is time.

Furthermore, if God will bring that man into your life when it is time, why is dating an issue? Why date before you know you're ready for marriage? Rather than spending time, money, and energy on a man that is not going to be your husband, spend it on God. We date because we are thinking of ourselves and what is right for us, but marriage is about unselfishness and thinking about the other person. How can we expect God to take over when we are satisfying our own desires to fill the void and feel better about ourselves?

Instead of dating now, is it possible to wait for God to finish writing the chapter on your singleness? What would that chapter say differently if you lived your life for Him, rather than yourself or man? How do you know when the chapter's over? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing as you. I think God wants us to live a full life through Him and His blessings before that person is revealed to us. How else do we learn to trust and center our lives around Him? Some would never experience His grace if He didn't force them into seeing it. So do I think I'm ready for marriage? Not now. Therefore, should I be seriously dating anyone? No, I want to make this time about God and me. I pray that He smacks me in the head with His Word of there is something that I am missing about His plan for me.

Gems:
expanding my social world
finally purchasing my transit pass
community group antics
yogurt world and all that entails
late late night philosophizing

time for a cool down

Pause, originally uploaded by sjl7678.

So if I consider today's classes as my workout, tonight is going to be my cool down. I know that I always say this, but I'm really looking forward to dancing tonight... I mean, face it, who would be excited to wake up to go to the gym in the morning? I'm not.

I finally convinced the roommate to go out to the Pub.
Veronica is in for Seattle.

Gems:
Robeks for breakfast
time to visit Tommy at the apple store
crazy teachers
crazy awesome teachers
dancing at the Pub

first day back to the gym

current obsession : pilates!!!, originally uploaded by whipsmart.

I was struggling and making fun of Candace as she directed me to each station... It hurt after all, so I got back in the only way I could think of. I said "no" to everything and did it all anyways. Sometimes your body just can't give in to one side. So, it tried to voice my disgust while still getting the needed workout. It was a lot of fun, no matter how creepy that one guy was. Or how awkward it is to run into someone and not want a hug from them due to their sweaty nature.

I feel incredible relieved to have had everything turn out so well at class tonight. The kids were fairly quick at learning the steps and I blindly placed them in the groups they will be performing in. The show should be a blast and I can't wait till I can actually see their progress. They have the choreography for their finale. Next week is the beginning of my small group sessions!! Yeah!

Going swing dancing tomorrow night with Candace, the roommate, my grandma and her husband. I love sharing the experience with people I love. When I dance I feel completely alive!! I am so very thankful that God brought this into my life and I pray that I'm able to bring that joy to as many people as is possible!

"Give this warped world a little taste of heaven on earth by graciously accepting the hand life deals you. In the dense, immoral fog of this generation, shine your life as a beacon, guiding others to the goodness and grace of God. Though this world is polluted, live in spotless purity, uncontaminated by all the garbage around you."
-- Phil. 2:14-15 paraphrased

Gems:
signing up for gym membership
spending time with Candace
choreography taught in one class period!!
helping Brandy with her new compy
still no tv [just hilarious videos on compy]