i'm sick of these restless nights

stop ;;;;;;;;;;, originally uploaded by caterpillars.

I can't seem to get comfortable. I am SO thankful for all of the help that my sister and the other Dayna have offered me in regards to the Hen Party. Life is manageable, so I guess that's what is the most important really. Lauren's party will be great and the wedding will be amazing. My best friend is almost married. How weird is that?!

p.s. If you have never seen the movies Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2, it's worth a watch from the comic, costume, and lighting aspect. I'm absolutely LOVING the costume colors. Each scene has just that much more life when each character shows its life through only one color!

Today's festivities drained me completely... and we don't even have the kids with us yet. Man, this will be another tough summer. I'm pumped though. I'm ready for the challenges that lie ahead. Hopefully, I'll get more sleep and relax a bit before though.
News that made me smile: Finding out that I don't have to take a break from my campers at all. I get to take my half-hour after my kids go home. YAY!!


Gems:
crazy nights
rides to work
YELLOW PRIDE!!
work friends
maid-of-honor duties

waking up to a morning treat

cinnamon, originally uploaded by elisabethsarah.

I realize that I have had serious problems when it comes to socializing lately, but I really don't appreciate it when people avoid confrontation because they are uncomfortable. If not talking about things worked, then blow-ups would never happen. Instead of holding things in or writing "discrete" messages for that person to see much later, just TALK. Talk about what is bugging you. Talk about what makes you uncomfortable. Of course that person might be hurt and a bit defensive at first, but in the long run, it's the only way two people can maintain a functioning relationship.

Alright, venting over. I feel incredibly blessed to have so much time to spend with Big Sis. I watch annoying shows and listen to music that is way too mellow when I drive her around, but she still loves me and wants to spend time with me. I woke up this morning to the wonderful scent of cinnamon. When Big came to sit down she had three cinnamon rolls on a plate and offered me one. It was great and I am so glad to have such an amazing friend and sister in Christ.


Gems:
hilarious movies
cinnamon rolls
roomie love
text messages
house-warmings

oops... i guess i made U look

[114/366] Made U Look, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

So I spent the day with a beautiful lady driving every which way in order to take as many great photos as we could! It was great and I look forward to the next photo excursion that lies ahead. If any of you are interested in checking out the rest of the photos that I took today (in addition to the photo above), just click on the photo and look at the rest of the photos in the "Verona Excursion" album.


Gems:
plenty of sleep
road trip
God's gifts
Verona time
swing dancing tonight

dreaming of a true love's kiss

Kiss Here, originally uploaded by Random Civil Guy.

I'm watching Enchanted, for the second time, with Big Sis and loving every moment of it. If the princesses in the fairy tales can be strong and still have the men chase after them, why can't I use that same strength.

I always loved the Disney princesses like Belle and Ariel... I've never been one to wait around, hoping that the perfect someone will come to save me from the mundane... Cinderella and Snow White are not my role-models and I'm okay with that.

I should just embrace who God has made me to be, even if that means that I sometimes have to fight for the man meant for me as much as he fights for me!

_{And when you go out you don't want to wear too much make-up. Cuz otherwise the boys get the wrong idea and you know they are. They're only after one thing.
What's that?
I don't know... No one will tell me.}

Gems:
awesome dances at the Pub
Step it Up & Dance
time with the Big Sister
strong women fighting for love
"Happily Ever After"

out with therapy. in with flickr.

Morose Monday Mosaic, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Cooking... Photography... Kisses...
Unlucky and out of love...
Emotional expression through movement...
Learning to wait...
And practicing the art of relaxation...

Their photos tell my story.
Click on the photo above and read the notes that show up when you hover your clicker over the boxes that appear in the photo. It was truly the most therapeutic thing I've done in a long while. While I could run around trying to capture these moments myself, I would never be able to produce photos of the same caliber. So here they are. The masterpieces that illustrate the many feelings in my life right now.


Gems:
the Apple store
Crate & Barrel
Boudin with Dad
Papyrus store
Henry's with Big

i.n.s.p.i.r.a.t.i.o.n is everywhere

Day 97 - I dare ya., originally uploaded by {damnittoby}.

As the shirt says, "Find inspiration everywhere," and I want to. I want to find it when I'm excited... when I'm scared... when I'm lost... when I'm angry... when I'm lonely... when I'm weak... when I'm tired... but most importantly, when I'm sad.

If I can't change it... if I can't hide it... if I can't let it go, then I might as well use it to benefit my art... my photos... my writing... my life.

It was really great to go out to the lake with Big Sis. I didn't stay long, because I wanted to get back to watch Greek, but it was still nice. Big and I fed the ducks and I tried to capture shots of the lake as best I could, with the bread and a Starbucks drink in hand. I'm happy... for a moment. And whether or not that feeling stays, I look forward to opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable to whatever is ahead.


Gems:
the Naked Cafe
time with Big
a clean fishbowl
Lake Murray
Memorial Day

late blogs, better than no blogs

[110/366] Candles 'R' Out, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I had a great day and I now can finally come to terms with the fact that my birthday has now ended. I celebrated with my family, ate shrimp, ate cake, and opened gifts. I have a new favorite dish at the Green Papaya and the cake was absolutely amazing!

My sister got me a great candle and some rocks to replace the black rocks that are currently in the fish bowl. I also got a bluetooth earpiece, so now I just need to make sure that I use it.

I went to church and hung out with Jonny afterwards, chatting over some Robeks smoothies. I'm not doing great but I'm not doing too badly at the moment. Still a bit of a space cadet, but I hope I can snap out of it soon!


Gems:
FloodKids worship
shrimp soup
birthday cake
family love
friendship

i guess i was just wrong again

Day 131 - Moi., originally uploaded by damnittoby.

Not my best day after all.
I'm glad I got all of that stuff done but...

I just wish I didn't hurt as much as I still do.


"Looking at his disciples, He said: 'Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh' " (Luke 6:20-21).

it has been me luckiest day yet

156/365 Where is me pot of gold?, originally uploaded by spring_peeper.

I've been really bad about getting stuff done lately. So I took it upon myself to get out and get a bunch done today!

I put together a grad gift.
And I got a haircut.
And I had my phone casing put on.
And I finished my thank you notes.
And now, I'm off to a grad party for Candace!

I just have to get gas and send out the thank you's that need to travel a long distance and I'll be happy!

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good right now. :)


Gems:
productiveness
getting my haircut
my newly green phone
Burger King iced mochas
graduation parties

that rain can't bring me down

Red Shoes Liberty Dance, originally uploaded by * Elsa *.

Feeling unwell.
Looking for an out.
I might just cry.
Consumed by doubt.

My heart, it aches.
My mind becomes numb.
My body, too sore.
And pain is the sum.

Still I will stand.
And hold my head high.
Sing in the rain.
Until the day I die.

I cried.
I sighed.
I'm fine.
Goodnight.

♥

Gems:
surviving the day
rainy days
Tommy visiting
scary movies
passing grades

living a fairy-tale & baring it all

{Week 16} Barefoot Fairy-tales, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I know that I am incredibly blessed and I hope that I only become more aware of that fact as the year goes by! I have many hopes for the future and I can't wait to see how each step of my life unravels into the next. There is no guy that I must change for because God is molding me into the woman He needs me to be!

If the rain makes me happy, I needn't pretend otherwise. During my time of singleness, I look forward to developing my skills as a cook, as a teacher, as a care-giver, as a decorator, as an artist, as a performer, as a dancer, and as an individual. I don't have to wait. These opportunities are right now... They don't begin once I'm in a relationship... They only continue.


<sup>The rain is fallin on my window pane
But we are hidin in a safer place
Under the covers stayin dry and warm
You give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

♥

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight</sup>
Gems:
mom's graduation
seeing grandma
talking to Goob
lunch with Big
my day of rest

you are important and so am i

those three words,, originally uploaded by ashleyRosex.

Slow down.

Look at the miraculousness of every moment with wide eyes & an open heart. Examine the moment & live fully in it.


Gems:
waking up without an alarm
lunch with Dink
chocolate muffins w/ icing
showers
community group

there's no need to say goodbye

Boxo Noodles, originally uploaded by littlesilverboxes.

<sup>It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye</sup>
I look forward to one day getting my own place and decorating the apartment or studio in all the ways I want to do. The thought of it is just exciting to me and I already have tons of ideas in my head that seem perfect right now. Green tones in the kitchen and bathroom and a modern feel to the living room. How my bedroom would look is up in the air... Who knows!? If I get a studio, the bedroom and living room would be one space.

Long story short, when I do get my own place, it will probably be in another state. That's both exciting, frightening, and depressing all at the same time! Seattle is still sitting at the top of the list. Anyone else have a suggestion for a nice place to live? Don't even try to talk me into staying here. It's a waste of your breath!

^{p.s. No need to worry yet...
It'll be at least another year and a half before I leave.}


Gems:
Regina Spektor
postponements
meeting with Amie
Sesame Street
dreams of the future

when someone else speaks

{Week 8} I Just Wanna..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Instead of writing today... here are some lyrics.
Today was just a movie day, I guess:
Prince Caspian earlier & Sweeney Todd now.
Anyways, girls, this song is for you!

<sub>Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t
Depend of how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally,
Because I am a queen

I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I’m wearing I will always be
India Arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s suppose to be
And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my Lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see

Am I less of a lady if I don’t where panty hose
My momma said a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows…
But I’ve drawn the conclusion, it’s all an illusion
Confusion’s the name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception,
Something got to change

Now don’t be offended this is all my opinion
Ain’t nothing that I’m saying law
This is a true confession
Of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in when you fit in
Go on and shine
Clear your mind
Now’s the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
‘Cause everything’s gonna be alright

Keep your fancy drink, and your expensive minks
I don’t need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive cars and your caviar
All’s I need is my guitar

Keep your crystal and your pistol
I’d rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don’t need you silicone, I prefer my own
What god gave me is just fine…</sub>


Gems:
daddy
showers
friends
Borders
movies

broken down... ain't giving up

My Birthday Celebration, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

My goal for the summer is to re-prioritize my life and really assess all that is required in order to strengthen the connection between me and my God. When I get caught up in something that is required of me, I hope that I will stop, think, and ask myself who I'm doing it for? To please God? To please someone else? Or to please myself?

I hope God speaks amazing things into your life!!


Gems:
rides in a convertible
french toast
work buddies
church
revelations

ma' morning cuppa cuppa joe

cuppa joe (24 February 2008), originally uploaded by kate_elizabeth.

So today was the end of my stresses. I took the CSET this morning and had to wake up at 6:30am in order to be there by 7:15. Caffeine is the only reason I make it through these crazy semesters.

5. History project due tuesday
4. History final paper due tuesday
3. Math homework due thursday (7 assign.)
2. Math final due thursday
1. CSET Subtest II on saturday
0. FREEDOM!!
We celebrated Mother's Day with the family and ate at Ranchero's, a vegetarian/vegan Mexican restaurant. Great food and hilarious conversations! My sister gave mom a shirt with a crying Earth that says, "Save me!" It was pretty hilarious... I need to figure out how we're going to celebrate my birthday next week, as well as join Candace for her grad party. I'll update when I figure it out, I guess.

Gems:
end of semester obligations
soothing fountains
Starbucks paraphernalia
belated mother's day
new shoe rack :)

i feel pretty... oh so pretty...

back bodice, a dress like sara's (but not sara's dress), originally uploaded by guessica.

I got my bridesmaid dress fitted today.
It was actually pretty nice.

My sister and I picked up the pink shoes and got the dresses taken in. Before that, I went with my mom to get my car in to the shop to get fixed. It's awesome... Got it back. It's running beautifully. AND it got a wash. INSIDE & OUT!! Sweet.

We had a Random family dinner tonight.
It was amazing!
I can't wait for the next one!!


Gems:
seeing my mom
fixed car
time with Doodle
Denny's
Random family FUN!

only 4.25 hours more of finals

aubrey, originally uploaded by .elsie*cake..

So yesterday was not the best ever, but I had a great time with friends on tuesday and I survived the day yesterday! That's pretty much a blessing in its own. I'm really pretty drained and sad that my car doesn't work.

Good news is that my friend is going to let me borrow one of his cars, which will be nice... I won't have to rely on everyone else to things that I want to do!! Somehow, I need to find a way to McDonald's today for the big deal and find a way to get to dancing tonight. Too much is going on.

Also I'm probably going to finally wash the tree off of my wrist after my final this afternoon. It's time. It got me through the end of the semester and I appreciate that for sure.

Wrist Tree Pho-Tat RIP: April 20, 2008 - May 15, 2008


Gems:
closure
helpful friends
dorm memories
rides with Big
almost summer!!

tis true... i'm officially two-two

trash the tutu, originally uploaded by alexkj.

Last night was a lot of fun celebrating with close friends. Some of the people I expected to see there, weren't but the night was great. The dancing was fantastic and I got HECKA cupcakes!! Woot! I am really loving it. So I need to write this paper and just get it over with. 5pm tonight, I will be as happy as a clam! :D


Gems:
celebrations
cupcakes
His grace
my birthday
good friends

too many shadows in my room

Jump Jump, originally uploaded by andyclymer.

I AM ELATED RIGHT NOW!!!

So I just finished gathering my online sources and as I was gathering everything to begin writing, I opened up the class website. BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!! I found out that the deadline has been postponed due to confusion over the 3-page final! So along with the 3-pager, the 6-8 page final paper on California history will also be due on WEDNESDAY at 5pm. This is ONLY good because I am going to go to sleep now without feeling guilty.

In the morning, my plan is to wake up and head straight over to Gold Coast Bagel Co. and get a dang bagel before it closes (I found that it was closed when I got there yesterday afternoon). Then I'm coming straight back and working on the papers. No TV. And since I've already blogged (twice), even though I usually don't count it as the next day if I actually go to sleep, there will also be no blogging.

I'm thinking I should log out of myspace and facebook now so I can't use those either. I'd restrict myself from flickr as well, but I need SOMETHING as a minor stall tactic to retain my sanity! Minor is the key. But the plan is to work on the papers and get as much, if not all, of it done before I head out to the Pub. Whatever I don't finish, I will just get done on my birthday. I am totally okay with dedicating a little time to school on my birthday due to an extension! :)

So that's that. I'm stoked......... for reals.

BED TIME.