grab your fork and knife

Plate Dancer, originally uploaded by FrogMiller.

So, I choreographed the beginning of "Be Our Guest" for my CYT class and tried to teach it to six of the kids today. Bust. This is going to be a very hard performance to put together. I hope the rest of the kids are quick learners. On the bright side, my aide rocks and she taught the rest of the children to sing the lyrics to the song while I worked with the dancers.

I hope to decide on the music tonight and do the choreography this week. I'm pretty excited about it right now. So, since I'm hecka distracted right now, I'm just going to declare this blog finished. I promise my readers a better blog tomorrow. Maybe.

blue bella at ciao bella

Jonny, originally uploaded by CarlSwing.

So I've been away from swing dancing for less than two days and away from Ciao Bella (the last place we danced) for only two hours. Why do I feel the uncontrollable urge to go swing dancing right this very moment?! I'm addicted. I'm hooked. But most of all, I'm in love. With the freedom. And the music. The people. And the way I can express my emotions without saying a single word.

♥♥♥
I especially love that my mood is lifted almost immediately after I begin to dance. I have prayed for the clearing of my mind before but it's hardly long at all before I let everything go and surrender to the music! It's amazing and it makes me so happy. I hope everyone can find an outlet as justifying and uplifting as this is to me and I praise God for this blessing on my life!! God is good.

not alone and not single

Waiting, originally uploaded by Pink Lemonade <3.

I'm in an amazingly wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ, my Savior. And I am not at all willing to make room for another relationship with just any other man. I need a quality man who will pursue a relationship with me and challenge me to grow in my faith once he has me. I need a man who will encourage me and comfort me when I need it most.

But most of all, I don't need a man to be able to live a God-centered life and I don't need him to be encouraged to rise above the obstacles I encounter from day to day. I also don't need a man to be my sole comfort... I have family, sisters, friends, and a God who is alive and moving in my life.

So this is my thank you and my love letter to all of the amazing people in my life! My gratitude and admiration is overflowing for all of you... For putting up with all of my crazy antics and the crazy things in my life!! I love you all very very very much!

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moment, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God!!

i've got the blues, baby

chris randell wannabees, originally uploaded by ohtoberich.

I'm stoked for all of the dancing tonight!

I'm performing Hip Hop for the Fripple Awards,

I may or may not be accepting an award for dancing at Frippleville,

and then I'm off to blues dance at Ciao Bella!!


It's okay if you're not excited because I AM!!!

ba da ba ba ba, i'm lovin' it

Just dancing, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

So my car dislikes me again. She won't let me in the car door without fighting my way through. Come on, Coastkeeper, I just want to drive you... Why can't we just work together and make that happen? Whether you like it or not, I'm going to go to Lowes and copy the key so I don't have to struggle with you anymore. It's final. No rebuttals.

ANYways... I'm totally looking forward to swing dancing again tonight! I will be having dinner with the fam (Taco Salad, woo!), and from there I will be rushing off to La Jolla. I am just glad that I have the time for it again and I hope that I get into better shape, so I can keep up and get better! This is the year... I hope.


Ch-ch-ch-changes.
I'm just trying to embrace them.

to me, you're always dressed in white

rest assured, originally uploaded by that guy, matthew moses.

And I will wait until the right boy says just that to me.

Until then, I'm content living my life for God

And I'm eager to share that outlook with everyone in my life!



On the Agenda for the Week:
hip hop tonight
swing dancing tomorrow
Fripple Awards on friday
blues dancing after the awards
prayer meeting for Stang & Scrum saturday
coffee with Julie on sunday
second CYT class on monday

I'm excited!

let me pray for you

Prayer Board, originally uploaded by ninjaneil902.

I took this idea of a prayer board from C28 for my room.
I got so inspired when I saw it.
I need to spend more time with God.
I need to make connections with those around me.
I need to pray more.

So I need your prayers.
So just leave a comment and I will add your prayer to my board.

5/365 - Bearing my soul... or is it sole!,
originally uploaded by classic perfection.

I bought jeans for $100 today.

I'm ridiculous.

No more shopping.

seattle dreaming

Talaris Conference Center, originally uploaded by Love Dr..

I am SO looking forward to going to Seattle over Spring Break!
I can't wait to swing dance and sight see in the city!!
I'm also hoping it answers any of my questions about moving there.
I hope everything works out with Veronica and Big Sis.
I really would love to take BOTH of them...
And Lux, if I can ever convince her!

rainy sunday

first impressions, originally uploaded by raspberrytart.

I'm not feeling too great tonight.
At least I get to see my Big.
And go to church at 7pm.
I hate shopping.
I hate gym clothes.
You need to work out to be able to wear workout clothes.
Therefore, workout clothes are hecka lame.
I can't even start to be excited.

2008: the year of weddings

love is in the air, originally uploaded by GooseGoddessS.

I'm off to get ready for Johannah and Jared's wedding. It's very weird to watch and help plan these huge ceremonies. At this point, I can't ignore my age anymore. I'm getting older. I'm bound to have more responsibilities. It's exciting and frightening at the same time. With a wedding today, two in June, and several throughout the rest of the year, I look forward to offering my support to these couples in any way I can.

I may not be ready for this step in my life... and for the first time, I am totally comfortable with that fact. I know God has a plan for me where I am and I can't stand the wait to figure it out.

My love goes out to Johannah and Jared today as they commit their lives to one another and start a new life together. May God always be an active part of your lives, together and individually. Amen.

I love you, Avanti, and I look forward to spending this exciting day with you!

i feel Him everywhere

Kayla, originally uploaded by A Town So Imperfect.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain.
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am the morning hush.
I am the graceful rush
of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the star shine of the night.
I am the flowers that bloom.
I am in a quiet room.
I am the birds that sing.
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

got shoes?

Shoe Loves You?, originally uploaded by boopsie.daisy.

So the bridesmaid dresses were ordered today and Dana and I were able to pick out the shoes we will be wearing. I picked out some super cute wedges and in hot pink (watermelon), they might even be fun to wear with other outfits. So "here's the stitch" (yes, Kim Possible), I have accumulated so many shoes at this point that I'm in desperate need of a shoe rack, maybe a hanging one. I would ask for one for my birthday but I don't think my closet floor can wait five months. Hmm... We'll see.

Some people have even told me that they want to take me shopping for shoes and they will buy them for me as my Christmas present. I'm going to ask for purses instead. After 5 new pairs, I need to break long enough to allow them to circulate. Oh, well. That's my little shoe story. Fascinating, yes? LoL.

turning new leaves

Eat Fresh (Sorta), originally uploaded by Looking Glass.

Well, I blogged about all my big changes yesterday and it's already been a bit hard to uphold. Gossip Girl was on tonight and I really had to restrain myself from pausing on the channel as I was flipping. I did well though and it'll be a lot easier once Flood College starts up. I won't have to be home when it's on at that point! Brandy is a bit bummed that I won't be watching Desperate Housewives with her anymore, but I'm confident that it will be beneficial to my psyche.

Another thing I am going to try to work towards is a healthier life: choosing better foods and exercising more often. I went to Subway with Lux today and ordered a Club Sub with a fat free vinaigrette, rather than my usual Italian Sub with marinara sauce. I was also out dancing at Henry's Pub last night and I'm going out dancing at the Firehouse tomorrow. If not sooner, I hope to start working out at the ARC every monday, wednesday, and friday as well. I have been too lazy and I just need to get over it.

As for tonight, I'm going to try to get my to-do lists for tomorrow and the rest of the week recorded in my planner as I watch the end of Project Runway. Then I am going to spend some time with my Beloved before bed. I'll see you all here... tomorrow.

late night/early morning journaling

Journal Page from Dec 19, 2007, originally uploaded by groovyholly.

"Give this warped world a little taste of heaven on earth by graciously accepting the hand life deals you. In the dense, immoral fog of this generation, shine your life as a beacon, guiding others to the goodness and grace of God. Though this world is polluted, live in spotless purity, uncontaminated by all the garbage around you." - Philippians 2:14-15 (paraphrased).

I had a lot of time on my train/bus ride down from Fresno to San Diego. Instead of sleeping, I was up all but the last hour of the 7-hour trip reading When God Writes Your Love Story and my Bible and writing in my journal. It was such a profound experience. I obviously had the option to rest so I could be alert for the following day, but I felt so free from obligations and restrictions that I just had to take full advantage of the time and commune with God.

I can't say that God changed my heart about a ton of things during the trip but in a way, He elevated all of the things that I had already realized. Some of the things that were tugging at me heart before, now feel like massive weights and I just can't ignore them anymore. So that's what is new for the year 2008... Me. Allow me to explain:

I was asked where the emphasis was in my life and my answer was:
- schedules/deadlines, school requirements, church obligations, CYT and YMCA as jobs, crushes on/obsessing over boys, and my relaxation time.
Then I was asked where the emphasis should be:
- GOD; either through Flood:worship and college group, through ΑΔΧ:as a light and for accountability, and through His word!!

I guess you could call that a wake-up call. Lame that I needed to put it into words to realize it but at least I had that! So I kept journaling...

If Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego could give up their LIVES for God, I know there are things that I should give up. I'm not of this world and I often find myself indulging in the things of this world. I'm not perfect and this isn't every single thing I need to let go of but this is the start, for now:
- televisions shows such as Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives, and anything else that I feel promotes things such as fornication or infidelity.
- movies such as the Holiday, 40-year-old Virgin, Knocked Up, or any other movie that bases the story on sex (whether it's a chick-flick or not). It is something I can't watch without being partly convinced that it's good. The Holiday was a beautiful story and because you relate to the characters so much, you almost want to reaffirm the validity in the sexual relationship they had. I don't want to think that way, so I don't want to watch movies of that kind.
- music with messages contradictory to my own beliefs. I'd love to take in all music as a cultural experience, but I don't want to allow myself to sing along to lyrics about sex, drunkenness, drugs, and such. So I will be going through my itunes and unchecking a ton of songs (not artists)... If ANYONE would like to help me in any way, that would be much appreciated!
- most importantly (and would help me with the above), the need to conform to the world OR my christian brothers and sisters. My walk is different from anyone else's so it shouldn't be influenced by anyone but God. This is most important in the areas of cursing, crude discussions, and acting or dancing in ways meant only for my future spouse.

I know, I'm long-winded and I apologize but if you are still reading at this point, I hope you write a comment. I'd love to know what things you're going to changing for 2008. That being said, here's the hardest change I have this year:

God treasures our purity for reasons beneficial to us! He loves and cherishes it and continues to do so, even when we do not. So will my husband. Knowing that what I'm doing now matters to God and my future husband, how can my life reflect that?
- I can find the acceptance and reassurance that I crave from God.
- I will no longer look at myself as single and up for grabs but betrothed to Jesus and my future husband.
- As someone who is taken, I will not pursue after men and rather allow my future husband to seek me out and pursue me. I'm not sure what that means for future relationships, but I'm going to trust that God will reveal that to me when it's time.
- I don't simply want his head to turn, but his heart as well!

So, that's it. That's a lot but that's it. They are not resolutions, but life changes. I am BOUND to mess up, but I'm not going to let that stop me from trying again!

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." - Philippians 2:14-15 (NIV).

2007 blessings

* Happy New Year .., originally uploaded by P e ® s o n.

So I have sat here for about a half an hour, if not more, just trying to decide on the photo to use for this blog. I almost used a cheesy "Happy New Year" with roses or I could have used a shot of someone writing their resolutions... but it all just wasn't right. Tomorrow my post will be about CHANGE and I will hopefully have the time to write out the many things that I journaled about last night. I don't want to make resolutions or write out things that I will most likely despise or ignore within 21 days. I am excited that I am ending this year so strong and I can't wait to start the new year. I even have a book with the guidelines on how to eat fast-food and restaurant food in a somewhat healthy or nutritious way! (I know, you're jealous) Anyways... I pray that everyone will experience some sort of movement in this coming year. I hope that you feel a stirring from the inside and set out to change the world around you for the better. Every small step makes a difference. You might not start out with the speed of a runner, but any change can set you up for bigger things in the following years! I love you all. I look forward to reading more about you, learning more about you, and hopefully, spending more time with all of you!!

All my love and God's blessings...
2007 is all tied up and I'm ready for 2008's Happy New Year!

it's like a cow's opinion

365:96 Moo Point, originally uploaded by angelsk.

Lauren has a Moo-Cow.

Ha!

she's goin' to the pasture and she's gunna get married

The hills are alive, originally uploaded by hebedesign.

"Ecstatic!

Thoughts
Uncontrollably
Sporadic!

Yet centered around One center

Joy.

In plush ripe tones
Joy is rushing through my Bones!

If Joy were a Color
It would be Purple
Pastel
Pretty.

Like old women and young children
Both wear on Easter,

Smiling while having deviled eggs
And drinking Kool-Aid,

Chasing blown Bubbles
In the backyard.

The young ones' distracting hats
Fly off...

And the old ones laugh
A Contagious laughter
That is to be shared
By everyone there!

The Sun
Shines down upon them
As all of their Physical Imperfections
Gleam
Beautifully.

And inside
Inside here
I feel like this
And I look outside my window
And imagine the
Future Purple Pastel Pretty
Moments of Joy
That I will one day have with my Wife.
And my Children.
My Friends.
And my Family.

I really look forward to Those Moments.
But I am Thankful for the one
That I am having Right Now.
This morning.

Alone.
On my couch.

Overwhelmed.
By Joy."

- Bradley Hathaway

night crawler

Amtrak at Night, originally uploaded by Matt (mistergoleta).

I got into the Fresno Amtrak station early this morning... about 6:45am. We left San Diego at 10pm. I can't say that I got much sleep and it's not at all helpful that I am still sick. Oh well. Lauren and I are holding up the fort... for the most part.

Pray for us. And pray for Lauren especially.
Pray for her peace of mind. And pray that the wedding plans fall into place. We want God to be in total control and we need all the help in praying that we can get. For those of you who end up praying, even a small prayer, our hearts go out to you and thank you immensely!

I hope everyone is enjoy their Friday.
Love and God bless.

sickening

Sick, originally uploaded by ghindo.

I'm sick.
I hate it.
I have nothing else to say.


other than... I'm leaving for Fresno in 3 hours!

maid of honor duties

Bridesmaid, originally uploaded by Rohan Phillips.

So we picked out the dresses today.
They're gorgeous...
And oddly enough, we found one kind of dress that fits us all well!
Strapless, floor-length, rouged to the side, and PINK!!
I guess the technical name for the color is Watermelon... but it's pink.

I'm so glad that we were able to accomplish that task.
One more bridesmaid needs to be sized and then we're done.
I wonder what shoes we'll end up buying...

Good day.
David's Bridal is pretty sweet.
Original Mock-up for the Wedding

i'm a tangled mess

Not Quite Candle Light, originally uploaded by vania_b.

So Dana's over it, I guess.
I just was a bit overwhelmed when I wrote my last post.
I think my thoughts are sorted a bit better now.

It was a really fantastic holiday!

I'm a bit bummed that we didn't pray over the food as a family, but that's what happens when we eat a casual lunch instead of the normal dinner. The time I got to spend with Lauren and Dayna was amazing and we played dominoes for so long that I could hardly think straight anymore. However, I was still the WINNER of the whole game!!

I had a Very Merry Christmas, did you?!

it's christmas

Aftermath, originally uploaded by The Eye of Brad.

I kinda ruined Christmas.

I was so excited about giving my sister her gift...
We worked very hard on a gift for our mom...
Dana and I fought...
Mom loved the gift...
We were supposed to get Dad a gift together...
I looked for the gift, but Dana got her own...
I didn't find the gift...
I asked for her to include me and I bought some beer to add...
The bad part: I didn't tell Dana that I got Mom another gift...
She didn't know till I handed it to Mom and I made her feel awful...
So she cried...

I feel awful.
I'm really not enjoying myself anymore.
I feel like I let her down.
This sucks.

happy christmas

merry christmas!, originally uploaded by anzyAprico.

I pray that your day is spent with loved ones.

That you can enjoy the festive events.

And experience the blessing that is Christ, our Savior.


♥
♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥

merry christmas eve

., originally uploaded by sakura*aya.

I hope everyone has a great day today.


This has been an amazing weekend and I'm just more excited for the week ahead! I can't wait for the candlelight service tonight.

...and Christmas TOMORROW!!



Check it!

welcome wreath

sleigh bells, originally uploaded by SpacePotato.

It's the smallest wreath I've ever seen and it brings an incredible amount of joy to my life each and every day! I am very excited about the Christmas season this year and I hope that I am able to keep dancing throughout this next semester. It has lifted me out of a funk that I didn't realize I was in.

I'm planning on meeting with my mom today and then getting together with my sister to figure out some last minute details. The plan was to sleep in since I didn't have to work FloodKids this morning and was up past 4am... Alas, a call from my aunt at 10:15am woke me up and I haven't been able to fall asleep since. So I'm cozy on my couch wrapped in a quilt and typing with the TV humming in the background. I dozed off for a few seconds and received a text. So I'm up. Next step: putting my quilt back on the bed and getting out the door.

I'm tired.
I'm thirsty.
And I'm a bit dizzy.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

the christmas angel says 'merry christmas'

Don't Talk About Our Son, Martha, originally uploaded by gregeichelberger.

The show was great.
The company was perfect.
The 'afterward' was just awesome.

I am so glad that Veronica convinced me of everything.
Thank you, Veronica. You're super smart!
And now, I play the waiting game.

Yeah!!

it's a CCT christmas

Lockettes, originally uploaded by gregeichelberger.

And Veronica and I will be there!!

I can't wait to go to see Traditions tomorrow.
It has nothing to do with the beautiful "lockettes."
Nothing to do with the cute boy, of whom I have a crush.
And nothing to do with the cheaper seats we got.

But it has EVERYTHING to do with the HOT CHICK I'm going with!!
Love you Veronica and I'll see you tomorrow.


*** As for today, I'm getting back on the horse and going to try me hand at swing dancing again. Atomic Ballroom, here I come!

feeling a bit lost

Looking at the Map, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I don't know quite how I got here
And I don't know how to get out just yet
I'll just stay here and count the days as they pass
Is it odd that I feel like I'm missing them all?

So this is me saying that I give it to God.
I'm giving it all up:

The worrying. The stress. The indecisiveness.
The insecurities. The self-pity. The jealousy.

I don't need it. And I don't want it. So take it!

chucks are my swing shoes

Dip, originally uploaded by sjl7678.

I danced all night
And grooved to the tunes
I forgot all else
Nothing to do but move

Chucks squeak on the floor
A strong hand guides my way
I hold my arms strong
As we swing and we sway

I don't want it to end
My feet just never seem to stop
A sudden and perfect dip
And I could just drop


Can't wait to dance tomorrow... although I'm sore from last night.

when I dip, you dip

Revolution Prelims, originally uploaded by Swifty.

I'm going swing dancing tonight...
And I'm super excited!!

It's not everyday that I get to go out to a Pub...
With my Big and my Best, Loox.

I hope all ya'll are having a nice night.
Stay safe!

christmas: almost here

christmas fruit, originally uploaded by faeriewings1.

My excitement just grows more and more as Christmas draws near! I am having a blast decorating our apartment and putting together the last of my Christmas gifts. It's amazing and I'm so glad I'll still be going up to Fresno to help Lauren out with the wedding! I'm just glad that classes are over and that I can relax for a change.


So Merry almost Christmas.
yeah!

several days watching the tube

great nite in, originally uploaded by SpacePotato.

Haiku for My Winter Vaca:

No classes for me
I am just waiting for grades
So movies I'll watch

signing surprise

Surprise!, originally uploaded by Penelope's Loom.

I miss sign language and I hope I get to do it again. As for now, I just need to get through my required classes and hopefully, the opportunity will arise. I feel like I get the same amount of excitement from signing as this little girl does.

So allow me to SURPRISE you all and say...

I love you!, originally uploaded by tweaker73.

sleigh bells are ringing

candy canes, originally uploaded by SpacePotato.

I'm so glad I can just focus on the Christmas holiday!


YEAH!!

praise God

Day 9!, originally uploaded by .rach..

He got me through Finals.

I know that stressed more than was necessary, but I got through it and that's what matters. I just have to rewrite one more paper and get it in by noon tomorrow to raise a grade, but otherwise I'm done!! I'm so stoked. And I'm so TIRED! So I'm going to take a shower and pray that wakes me up. I want to just enjoy tonight. Man, Finals stink.

♥♥♥

date night

Candace at Lunch, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

The best thing about my finals week:

My date with Candace.


I had a few breakdowns today, but at least I got to spend time with my best friend one-on-one. I love when we're able to set aside time just for us. It's the best!

driven

2 goals for the last month of 2007: Tie loose ends and get organized.
- finish finals with the strength from GOD, because I don't have it
- finish the reading in my Year Bible so I can give it to my mom for the New Year
- go through apartment, finish unpacking, and put things in their place (including the pictures that still need hanging)
- set up my life calendar before the New Year

Goals for the year 2008:
- write down "intentions" for each week so I can work towards something worthwhile, rather than getting bogged down by the have-to's and should-do's
- keep Lauren sane for her wedding
- graduate

Hopes:
- that I might discover God's plan for me as a single woman
- that I am able to positively influence the lives of people I come into contact with

pit of the peach

James and the Giant Peach, originally uploaded by me.

Remember when homework was interesting, creative, and fun?
Remember when it was something you actually looked forward to?
Remember when all you had to show was the finishing product?

What happened to THAT?

I miss it.
I miss doing things like drawing and creating and playing...
... WITHOUT feeling guilty!!


Now, back to reality and writing papers for finals.

cold beer?

Cold Beer, originally uploaded by Beauty fer Ashes.

She isn't doing too much work
She's not too far along
She is however chatting up
A chum, a future beau?

chalk drawings

chalklove!, originally uploaded by becaboo.

I am run-down, anxious, sleep-deprived, and totally stoked on God! I spent a ton of time in my Bible and got to work with FloodKids twice. I have such a hard time seeing these things as opportunities as I'm doing them even though I know they are. I am excited to see the kids perform during service next week. At least at that time I should have my life back in order, or at least I hope! I cannot wait till finals are through!!

God, be my strength and my shield as I try to praise you with my diligence and hard work. Amen.

anxiety takes over

peace, originally uploaded by becaboo.

Have you ever felt so utterly consumed with anxiety that your heart literally beats out of your chest, your lungs feel tight, and your muscles tighten and twitch slightly. I feel that. I hate that feeling. The reason for the feeling is random and uncalled for so dwelling on it will only add to the foolishness.

So as I have been wanting to do for a long time, my plan is to lock myself in my room for a good while to just focus on God, His word, His love, His strength, His grace, and mostly importantly right now, His PEACE!

As they say, "No Jesus, no peace. Know Jesus, know peace."

flappers

flappers, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Goal: to recreate this picture tonight!!

be still

, originally uploaded by lovegaby.

I am so excited about reading the books I bought today! I've turned into a total nerd and I'm not sure if I'm so ashamed of it... I'm in awe of God's amazing grace and love. I hope I am able to be still and listen to Him this weekend as I work towards the training for small group leaders this Sunday. I desperately want to continue to give back to my community in any way I can... I think Flood College is my chance to do so. I'm stoked and God's my rock!

serenity

yay i went to the beach!, originally uploaded by becaboo.

With haste I run from one thing to the next
All the while becoming more tired and perplexed
I reach for the tunnel's ending bright light
As the clock ticks down and day turns to night

One thing I'm forgetting, one thing I've been missing
I discovered suddenly as I began reminiscing
In the past, when I was feeling sad and alone
God was the one to bring me back home

He is the answer and the only true key
He knows what I want and who I need to be
With sincerity and love, He carries my load
As He directs my way along this serene road

(not my best, but the first version was deleted)

anxiously awaiting

Omaggio ad agedsenator, originally uploaded by danydrs72.

I have the computer show in the background...
And I should be getting the one in the foreground.
I simply cannot wait!

It WILL be amazing...

No rebuttal!!

sinking

|Into the Abyss|, originally uploaded by *JBR_JBR.

Overwhelmed
I'm sinking
I can but hardly breathe

Hands are shaking
My confidence fading
And I'm searching for the "out"

If you find it, let me know
I need a remedy quick
Sicknesses overwhelming me

One more assignment
A few more awkward moments
Until I may retire for the night

I'll be diligent
Get things done quick
Just to spend time with You...

I need You...
Just You.
Now.

my hope

Psalm 46:10, originally uploaded by lovegaby.

O, how I miss thee...

Let me count the ways!


Still doing the first Chem Lab that's due tomorrow.
I'd rather be conversing with God!

caffeinated study sesh

John 14:27, originally uploaded by i am a mermaid princess..

I thought this was extremely appropriate with finals just around the corner. I am already done with one of my classes and I have a few more assignments and exams for the others.
I really need to buckle down for Chemistry.

Things I still have left to do:
- - - Chem Lab 1 (monday night)
- - - Eng A Paper (wednesday afternoon)
- - - Eng W Final Paper (next wednesday morning)
- - - Eng A Final Exam (next wednesday afternoon)
- - - Chem Lab 2 (tuesday evening)
- - - Chem Extra Credit
- - - Chem Final Exam (next wednesday evening)
- - - Math Final Exam (next thursday afternoon)
- - - Eng A Paper Rewrite (by next friday afternoon)
He'll give me strength
He'll give me peace
He'll give me direction
He'll put all at ease
-- by photographer

my bleeding heart

Dicentra spectabilis, originally uploaded by ngawangchodron.

"It is at the edge of a petal that love waits."
- William Carlos Williams

---

I wore my heart on my sleeve
Can't remember where it all led me.
But I remember the breakups,
Make-ups,
The everywhere and in between.

I struggled to fall asleep some nights,
Trying to relive those moments.
But now I have found friends,
Hope,
And the Love I'll always need.

Guide my heart through these next few years,
As I see my friends become spouses.
Lead me to find my purpose,
Peace,
And patience, as I wait for the man of my dreams.

---

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson