4.30.2010

more than love at first sight

friday, originally uploaded by rhirhian.

Last night was an odd night... Great classes, awkward dance party, and a fantastic night of conversation with Christian! We sat in Denny's talking about anything and everything, until 5:30 in the morning. We talked about Christian's wife, my David, and all of the random things that we have in common. I look forward to the next time I can hang out with Christian.

I want a Sunday kind of love
A love to last past Saturday night
And I'd like to know it's more than love at first sight
And I want a Sunday kind of love
Oh yea yea

I want a a love that's on the square
Can't seem to find somebody
Someone to care
And I'm on a lonely road that leads to no where
I need a Sunday kind of love
♫ Christina Aguilera

4.29.2010

i want the touch of your hand

thursday, originally uploaded by rhirhian.

I'm off to meet with a boss, teach a class, take a dance class, and then dance at a brand new venue. I'm FINALLY busy, even though my day didn't begin until 3 pm!! Yay!

p.s. I'm completely smitten and SO happy about it! :)

p.p.s. Check out THIS amazing gem!! Mm... it's comic greatness!! *drool*

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-Roma-ma-ah!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love, love, love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather studded kiss in the scene
And I want your love
Love, love, love
I want your love
Love, love, love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad, your bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
♫ Lady GaGa

4.28.2010

o, my feet, they always bleed

mermaid, originally uploaded by Krisztina Tordai.

While waiting for my dentist appointment yesterday, I read a Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale on my iPod. The Little Mermaid. I have always enjoyed and will continue to enjoy the intricacies of children's literature. The decisions made by authors were written to keep children in line. To encourage them to make the choices deemed correct and to always respect their elders.

The story was actually pretty closely followed by Disney's animators for the movie The Little Mermaid, with the exception of the ending and a few omitted details. Disney is the land where dreams come true and because of that, children very rarely face difficult choices or unwanted circumstance, when watching Disney movies.

Critical thinking must be nurtured from an early age. Of course, CT will look much different for a seven-year-old, compared to a high school senior, but both deserve the chance to stretch the muscles in the hopes of becoming stronger.

Many parents and educators read to their children and ask questions throughout the story. You are correct to state that this is one of the best ways to encourage critical thinking with younger ages. However, you're probably doing it wrong.

The Disney version: girl wants boy, girl warily seeks solution, easy solution offered, small sacrifice is made, girl fails, dad saves her, happily ever after.
Anderson's version: girl wants boy, girl eagerly seeks solution, extreme and difficult solutions are offered, death is sacrificed, girl is about to fail, given opportunity to betray boy for her life, fails again and dies

When the choices offered to children are heavily weighted on one side, what decision-making skills are they really implementing? Everyday we are faced with decisions that need to be made, which do not read as right or wrong. Our children should face the same tasks as well.

In the original version of this story, the Little Mermaid (who has yet to be name Ariel) chooses to drink the potion which splits her tail into two legs, only to feel the pain of walking on knives with each step. The Sea Witch does take her ability to talk, but she does so by cutting off her tongue.

Now there's a choice to make: healthy, safe, but horribly lovesick OR dumb, in pain, at risk of death, but a chance at love. It sounds borderline cruel to ask a child what decision they would make, but why is it so? You are not actually making them choose between the two. This is a hypothetical, made up world, in which the child should feel the freedom to make his or her own decisions, without the restrictions of right or wrong. Those two words shouldn't have precedence in critical thinking.

If the only questions you ask all have easy answers, you are breeding sheep, who will only learn to fall in line. Teach your children to think and lead the flock instead.

I'm a mermaid
but I've sold my voice
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
when I go walking in the road

I'm a mermaid
but I've sold my voice
for a couple of feet
and they always bleed
when I go walking in these streets

and I once saw a most beautiful man
at the local record store
he bumped into me and said,
well excuse me, young ma'am,
but haven't I seen your pretty eyes somewhere before?
I smiled but gestured at my throat
to show that I was mute
well, he quickly looked down at the floor
and shuffled in his boots
he was out of there so fast

I'm a mermaid
but I've sold my voice
♫ Regina Spektor

4.27.2010

yer beard... yer beard is good

I had an entirely different post for today. I began writing it out, got about half way, and decided to save it for tomorrow. I just feel far too conflicted about other things.

This long distance relationship is awkward, unfamiliar, and altogether awful. Set aside the times when David seems unreal -- due to like-mindedness, sincerity, acceptance, and all-encompassing sex-appeal (you may blush now) -- as I still feel it is often the case... the thing distance does to torture and betray me is to mislead me into believing things that are untrue or unproven either way.

It's easy for me to believe that I care about this wonderful man, who I often talk to, via phone or webcam. But when I think about his life and how I fit into it, it's nearly impossible for me to believe. The biggest problem for me is that I normally receive the bulk of my validation through physical contact. The distance has forced me to adapt and I am fairly capable of surviving a few days with several texts and an occasional call.

But with each day, a little bit more of the reality is stripped away. It felt real (as real as it could) for quite a long time. I guess everything comes back around at some point. Two weeks from now, it won't matter. I'll be in his arms, dancing to the same song, holding his hand, clinging to each moment we get together. It's hard to be excited when it's still today... and weeks away from touching his face.

I'm fine, really. I just hate when the realities of life make everything feel unreal. I also hope this feeling that I am somehow a nuisance will fade. It's just in my head. I'm working on it.

Your beard is good.
It's just a compliment for you.
You're beard..
Just a compliment about your beard being good.
And also I have another one here...
You're good at finding shortcuts around this part of town.
Would it be gay to write you a song to cheer you up?
It's called, "Bret, You Got it Going On."


Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
Don't want to see my little buddy there with a frown.
Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure, you're weedy and kind of shy.
But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay.
Just hear me out when I say...

Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality
When they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate.
I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Why can't a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.
Not all the time, obviously
Just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.
Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable.
Because you're bumpable.
Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.
Come on Bret, help me out now.

Bret, you got it going on.
(You got it going on!)
That's the conclusion that I've come to.
But that doesn't mean that I want to bum you.
Bret, you got it going on.
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it, we'd be gettin crazy.
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.
♫ Flight of the Conchords

4.26.2010

never gonna say goodbye

(RED), originally uploaded by *Zara.

T
W
O

W
E
E
K
S
.
.
.


I feel as if I might just start counting the hours. I hope these next two weeks pass as quickly as it did the last time around. I really can't wait to see all of my Bay Area lovers... Big, WIll, James, Lauren (I hope), and David!! You can just know I'm thinking about you and hopefully that will hold you over. :)

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
♫ Rick Astley

4.25.2010

cooking to do on their own

Sculpting Hands, originally uploaded by Josh Sommers.

I want to get my hands dirty again. Creating. Inventing. Dissecting an idea and making it into something tangible. I miss it dearly. I need to find the time for it... eventually, I will. For now, however, it's time to take a dip in the spa... After which, I need to write up a parent letter and get it sent out and edit the instrumental music that I was able to find in order to make the CDs for tomorrow's class. Mer.

And don´t be afraid of the Big Bad Wolf
he´s just a sheep underneath those teeth
And don´t be afraid of the Wicked Witch
She ain´t so bad she ain´t no bitch

Woo ooo it´s a wicked wicked world
Yea-a-a-ah Woo ooo ooo ooo it´s a wicked world

La-la-la-ladies if you feel me holler
Fellas show us all a dollar

Little Riding Hood is such a flirt
She got Miss Muffet all up her skirt
Hansel and Gretel never made it home
They got some cooking to do of their own

Woo ooo it´s a wicked wicked world
Yea-a-a-ah Woo ooo ooo ooo it´s a wicked world

Once I tried to be so good
All sweet and spice like good girls should
But I don´t see why I try why do I try?
When every time I climb that hill
My Jack is somewhere chasing Jill
♫ Laura Jansen

4.24.2010

the way your sea sees me

Where the warm fuzzies are born, originally uploaded by *Zara.

“One might argue environmentalists are actually the worst advocates of their own message,” Dorman says. “We don’t have a solution challenge. We have a communication challenge. Until we start talking about green choices in terms of things that matter to all people and not just to other environmentalists, only environmentalists will hear us.”

Dorfman shares a story from the first season of “The Lazy Environmentalist” when he was trying to green a family that produced an enormous amount of trash. The father was hardest to reach. It was only when Dorfman began talking about the possibility that trash pickup prices might increase that the father opened up to his suggestions.

“We’ve got to talk about it in terms of things people are personally invested in and get away from this feel good-ism which the majority of Americans don’t believe in, even if I personally do,” he says. “It doesn’t compromise our integrity to communicate with people on their own level.”

[The Lazy Environmentalist]

The Creek to Bay cleanup went extremely well today. I was exhausted, but luckily, I was still able to function at some level. When I left the park where I was stationed, even the surrounding streets were looking cleaner and better cared for. We picked up trash, pulled weeds from the creek, and planted some new trees. At some point, I had the lovely task to pick batteries and syringes from the bags of the more careless volunteers (who didn't listen when we asked them to call if such items were found, rather than add them to their bags). It was a good day... I just hope I don't have to do another early morning of work right after a kick-ass late-night of dancing. Until the next event, I hope to ride out this high...

I once heard Captain Dan tell me a story
about this lovely girl who's name was Jane
She was vast and deep and filled with glory

Aaaahhhh

Bottom served as home for hull and anchor
She's always fit to quarrel with the wind
The great Titanic yes it's she that sank her

Aaaahhhh

Then she heard me
Say that oath that
made everything clear

I love you
My ocean blue
I like the way your sea sees me
My darling Jane
She speaks to me at times through falling rain
♫ Maroon 5

4.23.2010

it can be big like an ocean

Earth Day, originally uploaded by Theresa (Bloch05).

In lieu of a written post, I am simply going to leave you with this marvelous video (TAKE NOTES!!):



It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be
♫ The Muppets

4.22.2010

we will make a better day

Shopper's dress, veggie produce, originally uploaded by mleak.

In class today, I talked with the kids all about Earth Day and the importance of using reusable items. I heard their ideas and provided a few of my own. It was really nice to discuss a topic like that at CYT and I hope they were listening. There are some pretty amazing things that have been created from old products, like the dress above or the house in this article: Building With Bottles

It must feel amazing to complete a project like that. One that requires innovation, collaboration, dedication, and deliberate action. I'll let you all know if I suddenly feel the urge to create something fantastical!

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

We all need somebody that we can lean on
When you wake up look around and see that your dreams gone
When the earth quakes we’ll help you make it through the storm
When the floor breaks a magic carpet to stand on
We are the World united by love so strong
When the radio isn’t on you can hear the songs
A guided light on the dark road your walking on
A sign post to find the dreams you thought was gone
Someone to help you move the obstacles you stumbled on
Someone to help you rebuild after the rubble’s gone
We are the World connected by a common bond
Love, the whole planet sing it along
♫ original: Michael Jackson & Lionel Richie

4.21.2010

i'll keep a smile on my face

The World, originally uploaded by *Zara.

Be sure to stay busy and plant a variety of crops, for you never know which will grow -- perhaps they all will. Light is sweet; it's wonderful to see the sun!
[Ecclesiastes 11: 6-7]


That sense of aloneness, without kinship in the natural world, is central to the argument that many of us are making these days; that is, if we deny children direct experience with nature, we deny them access to a fundamental part of their humanity.

In Last Child in the Woods, I coined the term nature-deficit disorder to serve as a descriptor of the human costs of alienation from nature, not as a medical diagnosis.

That’s one way to look at our lost kinship. Glenn Albrecht, director of the Institute of Sustainability and Technology Policy at Murdoch University in Perth, Australia, has coined a different term, with a related meaning — solastalgia — the unconscious fear of the loss of nature, a peculiar kind of homesickness.

Fortunately, there’s a growing international movement to connect children — and the rest of us — with nature. An appreciation of nature is rooted in the cultures of Australia.

Yet, that country — like the United States – has been battling the problems caused or exacerbated by a sedentary, de-natured life.

[Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods]


I taught a class of fifteen autistic second and third grade children about watersheds and pollution prevention this afternoon. It was wonderful working with them and probing them to think deeper about the small choices that they make every day. After the presentation, the students were begging to help us clean (which we accepted gratefully) and I couldn't stop thinking about their passion for life and exploration! I can't wait for my day tomorrow. I hope to get a little time outdoors, even if it is still raining. Mm.. rain... :)


Sittin' here in my problem
What am I gonna do now
Am I gonna make it
Someway, somehow

Maybe I'm not supposed to know
Maybe I'm supposed to cry
And if nobody ever knows
The way I feel
It's all right
And it'll be ok

I'm gonna make my world a better place
I'm gonna keep that smile on my face
I'm gonna teach myself how to understand
I'm gonna make myself a better man

Climbing out of the window
Climbing up the wall
Is anybody gonna save me
Or are they gonna let me fall
Well I don't really wanna know
I´ll just hold on the best I can
And if I fall down
I´ll just get back up
It'll be alright
It'll be ok
♫ Keb' Mo'

4.20.2010

the trash washes up to shore

total immersion program, originally uploaded by nardell.


Every piece of plastic ever made still exists today, and much of this plastic has traveled from our hands, to our oceans. The most important thing you can do is use less plastic.

More and more products are hitting the shelves that are made of bio-based materials and/or are biodegradable. Simultaneously, confusion and questions about what to do with these products are rising at the same rate which they are landing in our grocery carts.
But what is most important about these products is that we understand how they actually work and that we are disposing the various materials properly.
“The overall theme is that [bio-based materials and biodegradables] are innovative, but we need to be careful about it and we need to do some careful analysis,” said Christman.

Lilienfeld agrees. “Ultimately, like it or not, it’s all about the numbers. It’s not about making people feel good. Sometimes, natural gas may be the better source. On the other hand, if something grown domestically reduces our need for foreign oil and our need to defend ourselves, then that’s an important consideration too,” he says.

[For more, read What “Bio” Really Means.]

For anyone who may be worried about my current state, I awoke with a swollen eye this morning. I went in for my eye appointment, got new drugs, and it's looking better. I'm not in the clear just yet, but I'm still in good spirits. That's good enough for me! :)

I bet you think we didn’t know
Didn’t even see the tides change
But it’s a small, small world, girl
Getting even smaller every day

I bet you think we didn’t know
Didn’t even see the tides change
But it’s a small, small world, girl
Getting even smaller every day

You can fake that smile
For a hollow while
But the kids all learn
Once those bridges burn

Ssssssssssssss

The trash washes up to shore
Even in this landlocked place
The ** gets thicker
It’s toxic
Get it out my face

The trash washes up to shore
Even in this landlocked place
The ** gets thicker
It’s toxic
Get it out my face

And don’t be surprised
If they don’t buy your lies
Some of us can see through
Your stained glass eyes

Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Talk that, talk that smack
Pot kettle, pot kettle black
Watch your, watch your back
♫ Tilly and the Wall

4.19.2010

just noticed this crying earth

I'd love the spend more time on writing out an actual post, but my eyes are killing me, so read this article instead: How Kids Are Saving the Planet. It makes me very happy. I also have a new book on my reading list, which I might write more about tomorrow. Get outside and spend some time beautifying the world around you!!

What about sunrise?
What about rain?
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain...?
What about killing fields?
Is there a time?
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine...?

Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shed before?
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth? Its weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaah Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah Oooooooooh

What have we done to the world?
Look what we've done.
What about all the peace,
That you pledge your only son?
What about flowering fields?
Is there a time?
What about all the dreams,
That you said was yours and mine?
♫ Michael Jackson

4.18.2010

roamed, rambled, & followed

earths, originally uploaded by ntmtk.

So, I am completely unsure if I will actually remember to do this, but I would like to post an environmental photo and song (as well as content) each day of the coming week. I love Earth Day and it was nice to be a part of the EarthFair, at Balboa Park, this year. I hope to be just as involved each of the coming years as well.

I talked to one man today who seemed seriously upset by the city of San Diego's lack of incentive to recycle. He told me that they should offer more money for recycling, so more people might actually start doing it. He leaned in, looked me square in the eyes, and said, "What real incentive do we have?"

Without pausing, I explained to him, as kindly as possible, "The only incentive that I have is that our waterways and oceans might actually be less polluted if we just took the little time it took to throw a bottle or two into a blue bin. I saved cans and bottles up to take to the recycling center when I lived in an apartment and I would do it again, even without monetary incentive."

It seems obvious to me. I'm surprised that it's not! I guess I'm not the only person interested in Why People Don’t Recycle.

Life's going to be a bit crazy this week,
but it seems to be slowing down ever-so-slightly.
TODAY: EarthFair
MONDAY: Filing & CYT in La Mesa
TUESDAY: Eye appointment & choreography for next week's classes
WEDNESDAY: Elementary presentation with the EnviroScape (observed!), between Filing at Byrom-Davey
THURSDAY: EARTH DAY, hopefully spent outside (walking, meditating, picking up trash), and CYT in Encinitas
FRIDAY: carpool to doSomethingBlue in Pasadena
SATURDAY: Creek to Bay Cleanup

Mm... I love that weekends don't even exist for me anymore...
I love it. So. Much.

As I went walking that ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway
I saw below me that golden valley
This land was made for you and me.

I roamed and I rambled and I followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
While all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me.

When the sun came shining, and I was strolling
And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
A voice was chanting, As the fog was lifting,
This land was made for you and me.

4.17.2010

nothin more than you and me

socks, originally uploaded by Peonies and Polaroids.

Days like this are more difficult than I'd like to realize. It's not even apparent to me, until it's spelled out and again I'm reminded. Reminded of the distance and the longing and the pain that comes along with it.

The dancing and drinking tonight should help, but we will certainly see. I can't help but feel frustrated at the thought of another month. And I'm eager to hurry the minutes and hours along, to serve my own selfish purposes, of course.

I miss you tonight.

The storm is coming but i don't mind.
People are dying, i close my blinds.

All that i know is i'm breathing now.

I want to change the world...instead i sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.
♫ Ingrid Michaelson

4.16.2010

we're gonna be sinkin' soon

Happy (Rainy Day) Monday!!, originally uploaded by squeakypeach4.

If I keep a green bough in my heart,
then the singing bird will come.

[Chinese Proverb]

I love learning about and making more attempts to be green. To illustrate how ridiculous I've become: I was far too excited today to get a reusable grocery bag that folds up for easier transport. Since my mom doesn't use it, she offered it to me and I'm glad that she did. I keep turning down the offer for plastic bags at stores, but often leave with heaving armfuls of loose items. Not anymore. :)

In a boat that's built of sticks and hay,
We drifted from the shore.
With a captain who's too proud to say,
That he dropped the oar.
Now a tiny hole has sprung a leak,
In this cheap pontoon.
Now the hull has started growing weak,
And we're gonna be sinkin' soon.

We're gonna be
Sinkin' soon,
We're gonna be
Sinkin' soon,
Everybody hold your breath and
Down and down we go.

Like the oyster cracker on the stew,
The honey in the tea.
The sugar cubes, one lump or two?
No thank you none for me.
We're the golden crust on an apple pie,
That shines in the sun at noon.
Like the wheel of cheese high in the sky
Well ... we're gonna be sinkin' soon.
♫ Norah Jones

4.15.2010

we are corresponding shapes

It's very strange, but I'm actually enjoying this swing class. I don't know what it is really. It could be that I'm just more open minded, but I have the feeling that it's because Alicia is such a hard-ass. You aren't asked to dance to the music or in a way that feels right to you. She tells you straight up that it's not the only way to lindy, but it's what she expects her students to do while in her class.

Knowing that she doesn't expect me to like it, or use it, makes me more open to learning it in the first place. I have become more aware of each step that I take and where I expect to be at any moment during the swing out. It's pretty neat.

One thing that's a bit frustrating is that it's hard to dance with the lindy hoppers who I thought were decent leads before. Knowing each intricacy of the moves and how they should feel only makes the dancers here seem sloppy and somewhat lazy. I don't mind much, because I goof off more than anyone, but it does rip away a bit more of the San Diego pride.

I love the people down here, but I look forward to moving.

I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
That frankly will not fly. you will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home
♫ The Postal Service

4.14.2010

you're the sweet to my mean

Mr. Blue Eyes, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I am really just at loss for words.

I have been feeling disconnected and a bit run-down, partly because I'm a girl and I have my moods and partly because I haven't had the chance to talk to this amazing guy in a few days now. It's weird to lose connection with someone who is already so far separated. I just want this distance to disappear.

[edit] I got to talk to him this evening and I enjoyed every moment. If only ichat would work just a little better... It would make for much smoother conversations!

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cuz, Blue Eyes,
You are all that I need
Cuz, Blue Eyes,
You're the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cuz, Blue Eyes,
You're the secret I keep
Cuz, Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are
♫ Cary Brothers

4.13.2010

we won't sleep at all tonight

In excelsis Deo, originally uploaded by Jane Bird.

I don't like who I have been lately... I've been far too critical and far too analytical of things that I haven't any ___ in. I hope this day off (with exception of the dentist) will allow me to clear my head and heart of these negative and judgmental thoughts.

Why must I take it upon myself to speak against the teachings that I don't agree with? I cannot control the instructors' lesson plans, so I'm done. I'll teach all that I can to those who seek me out.

My life is sufficiently lacking in sleep... This must change. Soon!

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
Just say so...

How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break free at all.
It's a heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down
Red wine and ambien
♫ John Mayer

4.12.2010

you like it, you like it on top

how many?, originally uploaded by viva la vibs.

how many more jobs?
how many more appointments?
how many more hopes are lost?
how many more longing hours?
how many more days?

Today was tiring. I worked five hours filing (didn't finish the day's work), ran off to I Love to turn things in and get bombarded by questions about upcoming events (ack!), and then taught in La Mesa for over two hours. I appreciate the work, but I just desperately want to have one job that drives me crazy, rather than three that tear me apart. I have no consistent schedule and it just makes life difficult. I need to find the time to hunt down a good job in the Bay. *sigh*

A pretty face don't make no pretty heart
I learned that, buddy, from the start
You think i'm cute, a little bit shy
Momma, i ain't that kind of guy

Doctor, doctor, give me the news
I got a bad case of lovin' you
No pill's gonna cure my ill
I got a bad case of lovin' you
Whooaaa

I know you like it, you like it on top
Tell me, momma, are you gonna stop?
♫ Robert Palmer

4.11.2010

stay with me in the morning

257.365, originally uploaded by rebeca :).

I feel less inclined to share what has been on my mind lately. It makes me feel a bit too exposed, for now, but I may share in the future. I am still digging and slowly discovering more about myself. It's an unending process, right? :)

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what they mean
I never thought that I'd love someone
That was someone else's dream
♫ James Morrison