twohundred and sixtytwo., originally uploaded by atomic turquoise.I had an entirely different post for today. I began writing it out, got about half way, and decided to save it for tomorrow. I just feel far too conflicted about other things.
This long distance relationship is awkward, unfamiliar, and altogether awful. Set aside the times when David seems unreal -- due to like-mindedness, sincerity, acceptance, and all-encompassing sex-appeal (you may blush now) -- as I still feel it is often the case... the thing distance does to torture and betray me is to mislead me into believing things that are untrue or unproven either way.
It's easy for me to believe that I care about this wonderful man, who I often talk to, via phone or webcam. But when I think about his life and how I fit into it, it's nearly impossible for me to believe. The biggest problem for me is that I normally receive the bulk of my validation through physical contact. The distance has forced me to adapt and I am fairly capable of surviving a few days with several texts and an occasional call.
But with each day, a little bit more of the reality is stripped away. It felt real (as real as it could) for quite a long time. I guess everything comes back around at some point. Two weeks from now, it won't matter. I'll be in his arms, dancing to the same song, holding his hand, clinging to each moment we get together. It's hard to be excited when it's still today... and weeks away from touching his face.
I'm fine, really. I just hate when the realities of life make everything feel unreal. I also hope this feeling that I am somehow a nuisance will fade. It's just in my head. I'm working on it.
It's just a compliment for you.
You're beard..
Just a compliment about your beard being good.
And also I have another one here...
You're good at finding shortcuts around this part of town.
Would it be gay to write you a song to cheer you up?
It's called, "Bret, You Got it Going On."
Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
Don't want to see my little buddy there with a frown.
Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure, you're weedy and kind of shy.
But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay.
Just hear me out when I say...
Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality
When they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate.
I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Why can't a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.
Not all the time, obviously
Just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.
Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable.
Because you're bumpable.
Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.
Come on Bret, help me out now.
Bret, you got it going on.
(You got it going on!)
That's the conclusion that I've come to.
But that doesn't mean that I want to bum you.
Bret, you got it going on.
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it, we'd be gettin crazy.
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.
♫ Flight of the Conchords
No comments:
Post a Comment