the weather outside is frightful

Don't Smile., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

It's cold here.
I'm sure you didn't know.
Today was pretty good.
We explored Pike's Market Place...
& Seattle's Best coffee...
& original Starbucks coffee...
& Sculpture Park...
& taxi ride...
& leisure time while Verona napped...
& now... We're off to dinner.
Lombardi's maybe?

Gems:
nice shower
fun hat
Seattle's Best
sculpted art
blues dancing tonight

seattle, my senses are tingling

Mosaic Monday: Too sexy, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Today was good but tonight was phenomenal!
I had a lazy day with Verona this afternoon.
We have a great agenda mapped out for tomorrow.
As for tonight's amazingness...
I just love that the clothing styles are totally different.
That the people are super funny.
The dancing isn't out of my league, but totally new and fun!
I'm making friends and just enjoying the perks away from school.
I look forward to our day at Pike's Place, the Sculpture Park, Spaghetti Factory, and blues dancing the night away... For those who feel as seriously deprived of blues dancing as I do can understand the excitement I'm experiencing.
Now, sleep.
I need to shower and get a morning coffee before embarking on the day ahead of us tomorrow! :D

3/31 Gems:
safe flights on southwest
texting my loved ones
swedish sculptures
coffee addictions
perfect dancing

don't talk to me... still morning

morning, originally uploaded by gumby*.

Soooooo tired.

We have a place to stay.
Taking a taxi into the city.
It's still way too early.
Gems to come later.

Now, go away!!

don't leave me on that jet plane

A Very Large Giraffe, originally uploaded by Sebastian Niedlich (Grabthar).

I'm taking off for Seattle tomorrow morning at 7:30am.
So, I must be awake at 4:30am.
For those who know me, this is no shocker...
I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON!
I'm not sure if I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.

We'll see.


Gems:
quality time with Big
tv mania
laundry day
eating leftovers
sleeping at Veronica's

no boys... i just wanna dance

{Week 8} I Just Wanna..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

If boys come near me, I'll tazer 'em... **TZZ**

I'm a JAZZ baby... Little jazz baby, that's me!!


Veronica, I'm jealous of you, girl! I want to get into a performance dance class again. I feel deprived of the performance world. Swing dancing is amazing but it's just not the same as moving to your own beat, your own rhythm. So if you see me swaying and leaping in the streets for no apparent reason, don't be surprised!


Gems:
sleeping in!!
white skirts
smoothies
car rides
selfies

la-la-la-la-la-life is wonderful

[52/366] Life is Dandy, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

in a field of yellow flowers
underneath the sun
bluest eyes that spark with lightning
boy with shoes undone
he is young, so full of hope
reveling in tiny dreams
filling up his arms with flowers
right for giving any queen

running to her, beaming bright
while cradling his prize
a flickering of yellow light
within his mother's eyes
she holds them to her heart
keeping them where they'll be safe
clasped within her very marrow
dandelions in a vase

she sees love where anyone else would see weeds
all hope is found, here is everything he needs

fathomless Your endless mercy
weight I could not lift
where do I fit in this puzzle?
what good are these gifts?
not a martyr or a saint
scarcely can I struggle through
all that I have ever wanted
was to give my best to You

Lord, search my heart
create in me something clean
...dandelions...
You see flowers in these weeds

gently lifting hands to heaven
softened by the sweetest hush
a Father sings over His children
loving them so very much
more than words could warrant
deeper than the darkest blue
more than sacrifice could merit
Lord, I give my heart to you

Lord, search my heart
create in me something clean
...dandelions...
You see flowers in these weeds

Lord, search my heart
create in me something clean
...dandelions...
You see flowers in these weeds

Gems:
finished hw
hilarious texts
puppy love
Starbucks
time with boy

you're just walking the line

[51/366] Walk the Line, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

So today was the last day of class before Spring Break for me. I went to two classes and got out around 3:15. I checked my phone on my way out of class and had a text from Jonny. I gave him a call and to my surprise, he was already at State. So I crossed the BAM bridge and walked along the sidewalk until I could see him walking in the distance. I snapped two shots and he pulled out his cell to text to me that he could see me. LoL.

It was a nice time to hang out and talk before running off yet again. We live some busy lives. I can hardly keep up with myself sometimes! So I'm off to bed. Getting up to take a shower and get some more homework done in the morning. I'm stoked... Can't you tell?!

Gems:
spring break
spring break sudoku
spring break Nicole
spring break Big
spring break surprises

wanna adopt 'em, not make 'em

Eat, drink, and be merry, originally uploaded by jwlphotography.

I love asian babies. I look forward to the day that I can care for children of my own. I would love to adopt as well. I have been encouraged to do so more and more over the past year or so. It was never something that entered my mind before, but now I think it's exactly what I would need to complete my family.

That being said, LOOK AT THE BABY ABOVE!! Soooooooo cute. For those that are shocked and disgusted by the explicit use of alcohol in this photo, the child has pomegranate juice spilled on her shirt, not wine. Look how happy that baby girl is. I'd steal her away if I could!
It's almost Spring Break, kiddos... Eat, drink responsibly, and be merry!!


Gems:
playing around on Flickr
reconciling with Brandy
hanging with Veronica
seeing Candace soon
Flood College tonight

by your eyes smitten: it shows

You lead, I follow., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I just can't wait to go dancing tonight. I've been distant. Off in thought far too much. I need more than grounding. I need to live in the moment. Not in the to-do's. Not in the could-be's. Not in the should-have's. So tonight is the test. I hope I'm able to remember.
I want to live each moment for what it is. Right then. I want to appreciate the time spent dancing. Not get caught up in the crowd. Not get caught up in the insufficient dance floor. Not get caught up in the missed dances. Not get caught up in my thoughts most of all.
As for now, in order to prepare for tonight, I will get dressed, get dolled up, and then get in the Word. God's calling me and I'm not going to ignore Him this time!!

Gems:
rides to school
Veronica's SF
worry-free day
perfect God time
tonight's dancing

sweet words flow from my lips

Sweet Lips......, originally uploaded by Hulalulatallulahoop.

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter."
(James Earl Jones)

"Discontent if the first step in the progress of a man or a nation."
(Oscar Wilde)

"Love can help us, love can break us,
Love can do things never done before.
Love is a feeling we find appealing,
Love is the thing that makes us soar."
(Michael Roberts)

I am excited about Spring Break and excited about my growth.
Lent was a real learning experience and I'm glad I did it.
Now, I just can't figure out how I'll ever watch TV again.
It seems so against my nature to do so!
I haven't watched it all day...
I will only watch random TV when another person turns it on.
As for my shows, I'll watch those for sure!!

Gems:
rest
babysitting
new photo projects
seeing my Big
silence

He's an awesome God & reigns

Easter Sunday: A living sacrifice, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I don't follow directions.
They told us to stand during worship again...

side note: I don't like to be told how I should be worshipping.

However, for once, I didn't stay seated out of defiance, but for the sake of this drawing. When I feel so moved by the Spirit, I draw. I love it. I wish I were moved this greatly on a regular basis.


God is great!

Jesus on the Cross, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Gems:
FloodKids
family time at lunch
Easter Service at Flood
breaking Lent with Lifehouse
movies with Jonny

drained in the very best way

Day 40: Chocolate delicacy, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

The food was definitely too much for one. So I shared.
Jonny's going to be upset that I used this as my photo for the day (opposed to the great quality photos taken by others), but I'm okay with that because I need my photo before I go to sleep.

To sum it up: Today was amazing. Perfect


Gems:
my carpool pal
California Adventures
Bug's Life area!!
Club 33
vulnerability

paying tribute to my mommy

Day 39: Mr. Green chops..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Mr. Green chops, it dices, it slices... it cuts ya DEEP!

But most of all, it wakes me all warm and fuzzy knowing that my mom saw it and thought of me. It's my favorite shade of green and I was able to use it to cook dinner for the most beloved people!!


Gems:
the perfect pair
grocery shopping
green ceramic knife
apples to apples
beloved people

it's been a hard day's night

Day 38: Jesus take the wheel, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I'm living too much for myself and by myself.
Renew me and guide me each step of the way, Lord!

And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray.

She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change!

So from now on tonight:


Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on


Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on

From this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me

Oh, why, oh
Gems:
almost Spring Break
stress-free classes
not getting marked down
Cafe Sevilla
Disneyland
Club 33

seek. find. accept. grow. give.

Day 37: Spring brings new life, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I just pray for those trying to find the boldness to bring friends and family to Easter this Sunday. May you find the courage through God and open the possibilities of growth in your own life and theirs!

p.s. I want to conclude Lent with a viewing of the Passion of the Christ.
Whether after midnight Sunday or during the day Monday, that's what I hoping for. Anyone else want to join me?! I've never seen it and would love to share the experience, whether you've seen it before or not. :)


Gems:
actually blogging before midnight
immense community group love
transformation through worship
time with Lauren, my love
breakfast with Terry

thirty-two and a third times

Day 36: Flickr locked me out., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

"In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it
to my ear without saying hello.
In the restaurant I point
at chicken noodle soup. I am
adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long
distance lover and proudly say
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond, I know
she’s used up all her words
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe."

- Jeffrey McDaniel

I should do this.



Gems:
turning in all of today's work
ace-ing the history midterm
having a full car for Henry's
dancing & shooting at the pub
grabbing a late bite at Lestat's

who wants to hit up a pub?

Day 35: Here's my flair., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I have been grumbling about the fact that St. Patrick's Day falls on Holy Week (last time that happened was in 1940). I then realized, although I don't want to celebrate the holiday now, I still really want to go to a brewery or a pub and get some good food! I don't remember the last time I've been to a brewery. Maybe I can convince Terry to go there for dinner tonight. Oh yeah, Terry's here from Colorado. I get to spend the afternoon with him. Hopefully I won't be out too late to do the homework I've been ignoring all weekend.

Gems:
my red shoe mosaic
an odd sense of clarity
fun week has begun!!
seeing Terrance
my salvation

and His love endures forever

Palm Sunday: Enjoying God's blessings, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

It may not be the most exciting photo, but at the risk of being redundant, I used yesterday's photo of the sunset and my C2:8 shirt for today's shot. Today was a great day and I am just in awe of God's great works.

Current questions to ponder:
What am I doing to thank and praise God?
Is it apparent that I am a follower of the living Christ in my words AND actions?
What can I do to grow more over this last week of Lent?


13 things:
Here's a random bit about myself...

1. I gag any time I bite into an onion.
2. With the exception of one day, I've probably said the F-word less than ten times.
3. I realize that I need a camera, but really don't mind the fact that I use my phone and computer for all of my daily shots.
4. When I ask most of my friends for opinions on choices I must make, they often don't answer with the excuse that I'm just going to do what I want anyways.
5. I have a mild fear of spiders, clowns, dolls, and falling.
6. I might be moving back in with the parentals in a year... just during my year of credential work.
7. I am constantly analyzing myself and the predicaments I find myself in.
8. I am often pained by the thought that I have let someone down... It's agonizing.
9. I have completely turned my life around since I began following Christ. I'm not perfect, but the change is significant!
10. I over-use smileys on the internet... :)
11. Diet coke is a regular part of my diet.
12. I love the color green and trees amaze me.
13. I'm so prone to overextend myself, I need to write in time to just stop and relax.

I wanna go!

Gems:
FloodKids worship
Solana Beach Presbyterian
epiphanies & revelations
Panera Bread antics
Lestat's Coffee House

please, take me the way i am

Day 34: Our Sunset, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Although my morning began with an awful testing experience, I got through it without really freaking out. Granted, I had no sleep last night, so I probably should have been freaking out, but I was alert, my mind receptive, and I expect good things. LoL.

Spent time at home by myself for a while. Spent some time with Candace. Chatted with the Goob... She is the cutest bride-to-be... Can't wait to see her this week (or Terry, for that matter)! But Jonny made my day...

Moothies. View of the Shoe Pavilion. Sunset on my face. Detour. Bread bowl & dried cranberries. Vons. "I love you" mug. Cookies & flat soda. No sleep. Home. Perfect.


Gems:
getting through testing
texts from my Big Sister
Brandy's kid sleepover
a wonderful coffee break
disneyland next weekend

just want to swing right 'round

Day 33: Slow night, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Went dancing.
Hardly any leads.
Makes for a slow night.

Still good.
:)


Gems:
sleeping in
lunch with Nicole
my mommy
dinner with Candace and Jonny
the blues

i'm afraid i just won't wake up

Day 32: Sleepy wants nap, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Bad day.
Horrible day.
Not-so-bad night.

I'll let you know when I'm ready to smile.

Gems:
paper finished
extra time to just relax
finally talking to the teacher
no ticket on my car
cleaning house

out, damn'd spot... out, i say!

31: That unclean feeling, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I can't shake it.
I'm spread too thin.
Trying to live out the convictions of others.
I'm tired and stupid.
I hope she's ok.
I'm still sorry.

Tried to give a homeless woman a ride to a women's shelter. I led us the wrong way and ended up taking her back to where we had started. She wouldn't get out of my car for at least an hour.

Now back to the reflections that seem so meaningless right now.

Gems:
God's grace
brokenness (to be built up again)
Andrew as my co-leader
people that care
late night/early morning calls

blessed by His good fortunes

Fortune Cookie!, originally uploaded by elusive..

So I'm going to change it up a bit. I feel a bit confined when I get prepared to do the blogging because I know I need to include my photo for the day. Well the fact is that I haven't taken today's photo yet. I do know however that I love this photo and will simply add in my day's shot to the end of the blog when I get it uploaded!

I am so excited about the things that God has been revealing to me lately. It's heart-wrenching, overwhelming, and all-together one of the most trying times of my life. However it's also everything that I need to hear and deal with right now. I want God to stretch me and grow me in His ways. It's exciting to hear the clear voice of God again... The clarity that is only shown through real trials. God is my treasure, my love, my fortune.

Day 30: Inner Peace, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Gems:
good feedback for my monologue
finishing my journal
boy
epiphanies
the motivation to go to the gym

i get in many sticky situations

Mosaic Monday: Sticky situations, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

So I have decided that I must learn how to just remain quiet sometimes. However it's only working in the situations that I desperately want to speak up in!

Lame.
I had a wonderful time tonight and I hope that my schoolwork doesn't suffer tremendously... I just want to enjoy these moments. I'll be productive soon. Maybe I'll make a sticky.

Exciting.
That's pretty much the word that will describe this week. Beyond the reflection that I have to do and turn in and the "knoll-like" pile of homework I have been avoiding, this week is pretty promising. Henry's tomorrow, new co-leader wednesday, Firehouse thursday, and (ba da da dahh) Blue Bella on Friday!! I'm pumped to get my blues on. You should be too!

Late.
Time for bed, kiddies. I have a monologue to perform tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! The memorization process is impossible!!

Day 29: Don't forget..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Gems:
monologue work
complete disregard for schoolwork
the CYT performance
dinner with the roomies
chats by the pond :)

i'm confessing my shame to You

I don't know, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

God is amazing. Tonight was amazing. My friends are amazing. I am starting to feel more amazing. My growth is amazing. And I only hope to spread these feelings that are so amazing!

I awoke.
I served.
I relaxed.
I listened.
I received.
I confessed.
I reflected.
I am loved.

And God is good.

5th Sunday: John 3:16, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Gems:
extra daylight
witnessing creativity
time with Candace
sharing my life
clarity

got milk? no, i have caffeine!

Day 28: Does a body good!, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

You just wish you were this sleep deprived.
Happy Daylight Savings Time, everyone!!

Gems:
sleeping in for forever
time with the Big
seeing Nicole
having the time to cool down
Ryan's going-away party

the day that never stopped

Day 27: Cuz we don't need a man, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

It was a great day. A long day... but a great day. I had no time to blog yesterday so I'm changing the date to be yesterday! Spent time with Jonny. Ended up at Borders and Candace met me there. Ate dinner with Candace and off to the sorority revealing. My Lil Sis is a big sis and I'm a Grand Big!! After that excitement, I made it over to Keith's place for a nice little bonfire. It was a great night of laughs and conversations and I didn't go to sleep until 7:45am. Therefore I slept through the Bridal Showers. Bummer. I don't have to be anywhere till 8pm for a play, so I'm going to do homework. So there you have it today's yesterday post under yesterday's date.

Gems:
Jonny
Candace
Lil Sis, Grand Lil, and Big
Daniel
Keith

let's talk about sex, baby

Day 26: I'm talking about realSEX, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

- Take some time and write down the desires of your heart.
- Where do you see God fulfilling these desires?
- Which desires seem unfulfilled?
- Think of a time you truly and deeply desired something. How did it affect your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions?
- Have you ever pursued God in the same way?
- How might you ‘delight yourself’ in the Lord today?

"'Everything is permissible for me'—but not everything is beneficial” (Corinthians 6:23):

- What in your life is not beneficial?
- What "good" things in your life may not be beneficial at this time?
- What is something you can give up in order to open yourself up to God?
- What is your plan to do this?
- Who are you going to invite into this process?

God wills our deepest desires fulfilled.

There is no hide and seek here. God wants us completely satisfied.

However, as Dr. Jim Smith III often says, “This is simple, but not easy.” Bummer!

The honest person then asks, “Why can’t it be easy? If God wants me, and I’m made to want God, then why all the drama?”

C.S. Lewis once said, “…it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

- Which of these is your biggest obstacle to true fulfillment: drink, sex, ambition?
- How are these counterfeits to infinite joy?

Take out your calendar:
- Make a date with God.
- Go on a field trip (maybe even “a holiday at the sea”) and rediscover your first love.

[writings above are courtesy of Scott Wildey: here and here]


Gems:
randomness of monologues
clearing the air with teachers
using photoshop
reading for pleasure
swing dancing tonight

when you cross the street...

Day 25: Two of a kind, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

... take my hand.


Veronica came over today.
It was really nice to just hang out and chat.
I got up before 10, because I just couldn't stay asleep.
I took both quizzes and did laundry.
I have NOT started my math homework or done reflections.
But I can prepare for community group right now!

LoL.


A thought for me to remember for moments like this weekend:
"Drunkenness -- that fierce rage for the slow, sure poison, that oversteps every other consideration; that casts aside wife, children, friends, happiness, and station; and hurries its victims madly on to degradation and death." -- Charles Dickens, Sketches by Boz


Gems:
fun
diligence
love
happiness
peace

it is the window to my soul

Day 24: An eye for an eye, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately... and frankly, I'm tired. I am sick of analyzing myself and it pains me to know that it's in my nature to do so.

Maybe if I just got ahead in some things and put my life back into order, I wouldn't have this overwhelming feeling of discontent at so many random times. I'm sure a lot of these worries are preventable, so here's the plan for tomorrow:

♥ get up by 10am and start reading the quiz materials
♥ take quiz before noon (& the reposted quiz?)
♥ do laundry (probably at the apartment for once)
♥ do math homework (& old ones?)
♥ start my reflections for LS 498
♥ prepare for community group

I'll let you know how I do.


Gems:
feeling fairly prepared for the midterm
going over my monologue
extended date night with Candace
pretending to lead
dances with Jonny and Noah

i don't want to make you sway

Day 23: Do you love your jeans?, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

About 5 months ago, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror... Nothing fit and I was unable to overcome my frustration until I went out and bought new jeans. I think I got about 3 pairs... Two of which were too big and one that fit really well.

Now, I am not great about working out... I've had a membership to the ARC gym for a month now and I've only been 4 times... total! However I am just taking notice of my cravings and dancing a whole lot more. I have a long way to go to get "fit," but I'm feeling good.

These jeans were not just purchased and wearing them again makes me feel a sense of accomplishment. Loving every part of my body is hard, but I strive to get to that point!



Now I am off to Robeks for lunch and to Borders to pick up a book I should have already read. Don't you just love the emotional rollercoaster that IS my blog?!


Gems:
late-night conversations
overcoming the "trench"
forgetting about the gym
still feeling fit without it
the prospect of a smoothie

looking for the breaking light

4th Sunday: Let it go from here, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Are they calling for our last dance?

I see it in your eyes.

In your eyes.

Same old moves for a new romance.

I could use the same old lies, but I'll sing,

Shine on

Just, shine on!

Close your eyes and they'll all be gone.


Gems:
time with mom
random growth
Veronica
caring friends
my Bible

how'd frankie & johnny become sweethearts?

Day 22: Frankie and Johnny, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I was out all day celebrating birthdays.
Happy Birthday, Jonny & Sam!
I'll just let today's gems speak for me!


Gems:
late-night bonfire and sleeping in
brunch with the boys
spa time
mobile birthday parties
awesome dances with the birthday boy

thinking of Him and him

Day 21: Mold me into a Godly wife, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I have my Bible open to Proverbs 31, just trying to keep my life on track with God's plan for me. God has put a yearning in my heart for a husband and instead of dwelling on possibilities, I want to focus my energy on growing into a woman worthy of the amazing husband God will bring, in His own time.

"Somewhere . . .
In heaven
There is a place . . .
Waiting for you and me

He made a promise
Gave every drop of blood
Died on the cross
so we'd be free.

Oh Oh Oh Oh

Somewhere, Somewhere . . .
In Heaven
There's a place . . .
Waiting, waiting for you and me."

- Santana
Gems:
following the perfect lead
sleeping in
my Africa bag
upgraded RAM
dinner with Hula's mom

i put a spell on you & now...

Day 20: It's still yesterday, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

[I just have THIS song on the brain!]

I have so many amazing people in my life! I feel incredibly blessed and saddened that I don't have more time to just invest in them. I am also incredibly thankful for non-awkward responses to incredibly awkward situations! The day was mediocre, but the night was great!! I got to see my family and then go dancing with Candace! Perfect.

Gems:
monologues & accents
meeting with Lil' D
witty repertoire
carefree dancing
late-night photoshoots

hours later... and still crying

Day 19: Long Day, Part 1, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

It was a long day. I wouldn't be able to think straight right now if I tried. So, I won't. I have two photos from today. Each has a story on it's own and together. As for me, I'll get better. I just need time.

Now, I going to try to just stop and breathe.

Day 19: Long Day, Part 2, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Gems:
getting back to the gym
seeing the Lil
C B "L" V :)
answered prayers
a good friend found amidst chaos

uninspired and unmotivated

Day 18: Lemon face, Lion face, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I would love to be as clever as I was yesterday... with a photo, blog, and lyrics that all emphasize and articulate perfectly. Alas, today just is not one of those days. I suppose I'm just a bit more tired than usual, but I'd rather focus on getting this write-up done, surviving my next class, and making it home for a shower before I go out dancing tonight.

I do however love this shirt in the picture and how the colors turned out. That is something to be appreciative of, I guess. Well, back to my review... Kiss kiss.

Gems:
sleeping through drunk-dials
today's theatre performance
chips, salsa, & margaritas!
skipping class w/o regret
a night out with my love (I've missed her)

captain backfire, present and reporting for duty

Day 17: My stupid mouth., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I do it all the time... More so recently than ever before.
My words just run away from me.
Word vomit.
It's overwhelming to say the least.
I don't think I've ever had to justify myself
... as much as I have in the past month!
It's a part of my growth, I suppose.

_{[no edit on the photo other than a minor crop and contrast and exposure adjustment... that's the first I can claim that!!]}

<sup>My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said, "Think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon

We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess
With the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good,
What JUST slipped out, and what went wrong

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said, "Think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again
it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now... Starting now


One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said, "Think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me

oh I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
I'm never speaking up again
Starting now, starting now...</sup>

Gems:
seeing my Big
coffee house meetings
choreographing kids
annoyingly funny phone settings
finally making a run to Vons

don't worry, i found the love

3rd Sunday: The best part of waking up..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

... at the bottom of my coffee mug.

I wanted to try out the four-shot feature of my Photo Booth and I'm really happy with the way it turned out... People on flickr might not, but at least I'm content with my finished work.

Today was just an all-around good day. I can't say why it was so good... Just that it was good. The kids were great. Lunch with my Love was fantastic. And then I got to chill out at my apartment until my Love picks me up for church. Being done with that paper is awesome!!


It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on
Where's the truth, y'all, come on
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
I'm looking forward to the coming week...
I haven't a clue to what may be in store, but I can't wait to find out!

Gems:
hearing myself think
time with Candace
cuddling with the sleep-machine
eating pasta noodles
the lure of the Starbucks mug

can i see YOUR guarded heart?

Day 16: Guard your heart., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

This heart has no key...

SO HOW DO I KEEP IT LOCKED?!

I'm trying every method I can think of...

I WILL find a way to keep it guarded.

But still...
"If you were falling, then I would catch you..."


I had a fantastic night last night... I cannot explain how much I needed the rest that I found in relaxing. I hit up the spa and got In 'N' Out shakes and fries with Jonny. We just spent a lot of time talking and listening to good music. Always a good combination.

<sup>"Do you have the key to unlock my heart?
Do you know you've already made a start?

Could you make me laugh more than cry?
Could you make my heart soar, my spirits fly?

My head screams, walk away!
But something inside tells me, no stay!

Have I got the strength? I can but try.
I want to know more, but I don't know why.

Do I take the chance? Can I let you see?
Dare I let my guard down and show you the real me? "</sup>
So what do I do today? After waking up late, I went to Starbucks for a pasta lunch and then to a Battle of the Bands with Jeanele and the crew. We got back around 3:30, so I went back to the apartment, changed, and took the puppy with me to the spa. It was really nice. At 5:30 or so, I went out with Veronica and Brandy to Sammy's for dinner. I always enjoy a Girls Night!

... looking forward to another.

Gems:
reconciling with the water
text messages
time spent with my lady friends
my new mug
ingrid michaelson songs

just lovers of loving love

Day 15: Are You there, God?, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

"You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties
upon Him, for you are His person concern."
-- 1 Peter 5:7
So now that I'm done with my paper, it has become extremely difficult for me to avoid watching TV. I knew that I couldn't and shouldn't before, when I had to write the Capstone... but now, I haven't any immediate obligations and with this newly found time, I'm forced to hide in my room. Why go to the extreme of hiding in my room? Well it's the only room in the house, other than the kitchen and bathrooms without a TV. At this point, I am pretty sure my dreams often follow TV show plot lines and involve the characters from King of Queens.


Yeah... so my mom called me today. It was a very interesting conversation we had as well. After talking for about ten minutes about as much as we could, my mom throws in another question:

"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Um... Who told you that?"
"Well, do you?"
"Did someone tell you that I did?"
"I was having lunch with Dana (my sister) and she asked me if I knew... So, do you?"
"No, Mom."
"Oh... [long pause] ... but you'll tell me when you do?"
"Yes, Mom"
"Okay good. Well, I hope to see you this weekend!"


I love you too, Mom.
Gems:
finished with the Capstone
roommate love
fighting with the puppy
phoning home
a night on the town

i don't want to talk about it

Day 14: All-nighter #2 this week, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

no, really, i don't.


Gems:
Lestat's
time with Candace
capstone will be turned in at 1:45 (class at 2)
understanding teachers
still living

he's a short-term pessimist, long-term optimist

Day 13: A good book, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I hate this paper that I am being forced to write, but as soon as it's done, I'm actually looking forward to reading the books by Daniel Boorstin. He has an insight that is just really intriguing...

Rachel Carson was an awesome person to learn about as well. I might pick up her book, the Silent Spring, someday as well. She offers the same message of the Lorax in poetic form for adults.

Both Authors are extremely taboo is several ways and I just love that you can sense their passion through their writing. I pray that my passion for God and His plan comes through my writing as well... Maybe not in this paper, but at least here. :)

Who knew I could actually get something out of this dang project?!

Gems:
my "nap" last night
going to sleep anyways
my accidental nap this morning
motivation to finish everything
morning with the roommate

burning the [5 am] oil

Day 12: Burning the..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

Yes, it's early morning and I am not only still awake, but I do not intend on sleeping at all. I paused to take my photo for the day just because I can't remember the last all-nighter I had to do!! The idea came to me and I just ran with it.

For those that were wondering how far along I am, I am halfway through the second essay BECAUSE I had to stop and actually do the homework for today. I finished my math homework, have another two sentences for my history analysis, and then I have to evaluate a classmate. Lame. I'm currently decided whether I should just do all the homework for today and thursday tonight, so I can't focus solely on the Capstone. Either way, it's lame.

And I am the absolute worst at maintaining focus.

"Your biggest distraction in worship is yourself--your interests and your worries over what others think about you."
God, please help me to remember this the next time I stand awkwardly with one hand raised and the other on the chair in front of me, as I scan the room inconspicuously. I'm there to worship You and nothing anyone else is doing should have an influence on my worship for You. I am not the one "getting something out of the worship." I'm the one giving! I lift all this up to You, God. Amen.


_{[THINGS TO REMEMBER TODAY]
-- Buy Ink & Report cover
-- Don't die!}



Gems:
nostalgic of sophomore year
joy from teaching
peaceful with the puppy
goofiness in general
thankful for the phone call

if i were a drinker...

Day 11: Permanent residence?, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

... I'd be all kinds of wasted right now.

So I've heard of having a monkey on your back, but a puppy?
She's getting seriously ridiculous.
As my sole source of amusement for the weekend, Hula has been amazing... I just don't think I can stand it here any longer. If I don't finish the papers today, I don't know WHAT I'll do!! I should be editing by now. Lame.

Gems:
late night research
ambiguity
warm puppy snuggles
sub sandwiches
the prospect of finishing