memo on life to me, from me

Memo, originally uploaded by ali edwards.

Be in the moment.

just be. don't hurry on to the next thing.
BE IN THE NOW.


Gems:
great banquet date
painted nails
morning cartoons
breakfast time
time for homework

waiting for the pain to pass

[87/366] I think I could have too..., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I can't keep my footing anymore.
I'm sick of being sad.
I think I've given up.
It's almost over... right?

Gems:
banquet
redrawn
sleep
God
my gifts

"cheese" on the count of three

Day 13 - It's a camera. On a shirt., originally uploaded by damnittoby.

I'd rather be out taking pictures right now. Instead, I'm sitting here at my parents' house, waiting to do laundry (after Big), and avoiding my homework. I also would like a decent camera to take pictures with. I hate the stupid flash on my camera. It kills the entire shot every time!

p.s. This shirt rocks out loud!!


Gems:
time with Big
Bruno
diligence
laundry day
possible dancing tonight

2008-2009 planner purchased

[86/366] Life Organized, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I'm ecstatic right now!


I just spent three hours using the organization materials that I purchased today to finally organize the past two years of my life. It's an amazing feeling when you can say that you know where everything is!!

I am completely done with two of my classes for this semester thus far (I got a B in Ed and I'm waiting for my Capstone grade). I have about three small assignments due for my theatre class to be done with that, which leave me with two classes to finish out the semester.

It's amazing. I'm happy. Not over all the stresses, but I'll take the victory as I can!

OH and I found the other tiny earring that I thought I had lost, so I'm wearing them again. It really topped off my day. Now if only I could convince my body to stop being so tense. Oh well.


Gems:
finished homework
last theatre class
finishing Ed451
organizing my life
finding a lost earring (I got them from Lauren)

everything in shades of yellow

Shades of Yellow and Coffee, originally uploaded by Kristen Anna.

No matter what I do or how I feel, there always seems to be that silver lining, or sugar coating if you will. I'm not losing it right now because I have amazing friends and the attention span of a goldfish. It takes me longer to do things because I'm so distracted. But my distractions are offering me a sense of purpose to get through the rest of the semester.

I know that I'm only stressing myself out more and that I'd be able to have more fun if I just get everything done now. I just don't work like that... And I'm not ashamed. I'm just planning for it now.

If I have something big due, I will try my hardest to give myself three times as much time as I need to get it done. It's not practical or logical, but it's me. And I deem it worthy.

Thank you for your time.


Gems:
Robeks smoothie
McDonald's chicken
Starbucks peppermint mocha
Sammy's hummus
Lestat's apple cider

The Aftermath, originally uploaded by Kristen Anna.

chase me, fight me to break me

Martina, originally uploaded by alelatriller.

Thank you, Katie Herzig. The song "Chase Me" is amazing!

<sub>Come to think of it, there's not much to say
When it don't end the way you thought it would
'Cuz I can sit here counting the days
When I thought you should call me.
Can you live with it? The memory of nothing to lose.
Oh by the way, I have so much confidence in you.
Oh by the way, this just doesn't happen for you.

You gotta chase me.
Fight to break me.
To make all your dreams come true.
Don't keep me waiting, while you're saving yourself, for you.

It's too soon to tell, but they said that they loved you
And I think I could of too.
Said they'd never seen me smiling my brains out.
I smile all my brains out for you.
The tale will come to an end, 'cuz when night came
The same old Cinderella tells her tale.
Now I sit here waiting for my shoe.

You gotta chase me.
Fight to break me.
To make all your dreams come true.
Don't keep me waiting, while you're saving yourself, for you.

Who's counting anyway?
Another day is over.
Who wants to live that way?
Another heart is sober.
Unwrap her mystery.
Pour out your heart and show her.
That she is everything you see.
Because, she sees.

You gotta chase her.
Fight to break her.
To make all your dreams come true.
Don't keep her waiting, while you're saving yourself, for you.

You gotta chase her.
Fight to break her.
To make all your dreams come true.
Don't keep her waiting, while you're saving yourself... for you.</sub>

[note to self: Apply the above words to your life!!]
In the meantime, just focus on the lines about counting the days...
And, well, don't.


Gems:
James project... check
Morning circle... check
All journals but #8... check
Pulse... check
Free Cone Day... check-to-be

open, yet undefined, horizons

Day 26: I'm talking about realSEX, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I finished reading the book today and I am really excited to have the opportunities as an unmarried significant to live life "as robustly, and gospel-conforming, as [I] possibly can" (139). I am offered the "opportunity to realize that it is God who sustains [me]," as I am asked to "specialize in 'creating and protecting emptiness for God.'" Marrieds and significants alike are asked to maintain a "vacancy for God" (145).

The goal of chastity is not to attract Mr. or Miss Right by turning away from others, but to "turn your attention away from sexual and romantic entanglements with other people and orient yourself toward God" (131). Instead of allowing Prince Charming to become the object of your attentions, you must always remember that "God desires your person, your body, more than any man or woman ever will" (129).


If any of the above resonates with you, or if you are just curious to read more from Winner, let me know. I can lend you my book, as long as you don't mind the excessive highlights throughout. For those that want to obtain their own copy, Flood sells them at the table on Sundays and I'm sure they have copies in Borders as well! :D

contemplation & reflection

South Road, Loch Rannoch, originally uploaded by slimmer_jimmer.

So I had many random plans that might not happen now.
But why should I let them pass me by?

Is there anyone who has an extra bike and wants to ride with me?
Someone who would like to make dinner sometime?
Another who wants to watch some movies for no reason?

I don't have all the time in the world right now... but I will.
Come summertime, I don't want to be making excuses.
I want to get out there and do the things I talked about.

I'm not sure if I'm really feeling better...
I couldn't bring myself to do any homework yesterday.
I spent all of my time with God... and I'm okay with that!


Gems:
"study" time with Candace
late-night Barnes & Noble
discovering the sleep secret (sleep 6 or 7.5 or 9 hours... not 8)
embracing the here & now
sweet words from a Lover

because i deserve the best

Melancholy Worker, originally uploaded by Influ3nza.

I can be tough... and this is me trying.


Gems:
clarity
friends
church
God
trust

comforting words of a Lover

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

[Romans 8:24-27]

the man radiates good cheer

(85) Almost uncanny, originally uploaded by Sarajea.

"The man who radiates good cheer, who makes life happier wherever he meets it, is always a man of vision and faith."
[ Ella Wheeler Wilcox ]
So my mood has been everywhere lately, but I really need to try to stay positive. I want to stay positive. It's not even school getting me down right now and I know that it's the most important thing of the moment. Speaking of school, I should get back to work... As usual.


Gems:
waking up on time
morning Starbucks
shopping with Keith
lunch with Nicole
Urinetown tonight

what are YOU looking at?

giraffe, originally uploaded by al greer.

I am really stoked on animals right now.

I watched Nemo the other day, started costuming characters for bug costumes, just gave a presentation on fish yesterday, and now I'm watching Madagascar. I can't explain it, but I'm just trying to use it for my own advantage. Maybe I can get a bit more inspiration needed to work on my project. I just really want to finish!

The sooner I finish, the sooner I get to read my book! :D


Gems:
sleeping till 11am
muffins
Starbucks
project ideas
dinner with Jonny

overflowing with inspiration

James and the Giant Peach, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I'm costuming James and the Giant Peach again...

I got to explore interesting ways to portray the bugs, keeping them recognizable. Now I'm trying to really step outside of the box with my designs! I think I'm only going to do three designs this time.

I'm redesigning the earthworm, making him purple and allowing him to have arms and legs that he will just not use. His hand will stay in his pockets and he can create fun ways to show that he is not using his legs to walk.

Another that I am redesigning is the ladybug, who looks extremely cutesy in my first design. This time I'm taking her high fashion and making her yellow! :D

The last one that I designed is the Silk Worm, which was not one of the characters that I had to costume before. I love the idea for the costume, which is a tight tube dress with another oversized futuristic dress over it. The dress also has a hood that keeps the character in a sort of shadow as well.

I know that not many people care at all but it's exciting, okay?!
Deal with it!


Gems:
waking up early
"grocery" shopping
buying flowers for myself
willy wonka & wikipedia
full-credit on ed presentation

loving my body best i can

[78/366] Love your Body, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I've been reading lately (I know... why don't I just get homework done?!) and I think I really need to start embracing every part of me. Not just my heart, my mind, my gifts, and my uniqueness. But specifically, my body. My body really aches right now, but I want to start taking care of it. It's a temple. An essential part of God's body. I should treat it as such.

I'd love to go more into detail, but I have to run off to community group. It's going to be an intense night, so I'm a bit nervous. I need to lean on God to get through this. God be with me and my group tonight... Amen.


Gems:
extra sleep
the perfect shower
costume design
Robeks and Target
community group

when the world says give up...

listening to what counts, originally uploaded by Aradan.

When the world says, "give up," straighten up, and run till you finish the race. Run at full force. You've come this far. You've done this much. You've proven yourself already. Why is the world able to change your outlook so easily?


Am I alone?
Am I stupid?
Does no one care?
Is it not going to be ok?
Does nobody like me?
Should I give up?

No.

I am loved. I am special. I am significant. I am powerful. I am smart. I am among friends. I have Someone who cares. I am more than "ok." I have no reason to give up.

So I need to stop. Refocus. And start running in the right direction.

No more pity. No more angst. No more excuses.
Just live. And LIVE BIG!!

You have everything, God!


Gems:
sorority sisters
prayer power
end is near
clarity
drive

a little distraught over you

100_4226, originally uploaded by leslie hope.

I didn't know what else to do or where else to go... So I'm at the sorority house. I have my laptop and other homework materials with me, but I'm just broken. I need prayer. I need to pray.

Worshiping with the girls was great and I am so glad I got to hear the memorized verses as well. I just know that this is something I cannot overcome on my own. I need God's help and the support of friends to get through this time.

I don't need to make this long, but I did want to write. I'm hurt, but I'm praying for growth through these experiences. If you find that it's on your heart, please pray for my dad, my family, myself, and my home. Thank you.

i love to love you on monday

I'll love you on Monday., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I'm still excited about the awesome friends that were at Flood last night! It was really an amazing experience and I hope to continue growing from and learning from them.

If I don't get anything else done today, I want to at least get my history journals done and get the bulk of my theatre project done. That way I can get most of the work I need to do out of the way! I am not ready just yet to do my CA history project... Baby steps. :)

Gems:
time
friends
relaxation
photography
love

i will wear a crown of beauty

[75/366] He is the tree of LIFE., originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

I wrote this on my arm before I got baptized (it says, "He is the tree if LIFE."). It was a comforting thing for me, since I was getting pretty nervous waiting for the baptism to happen. I thought I would share it with all of you before I wash my arm... which I do pretty regularly.

The baptism was amazing and I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, who moved their schedules around to be there for me. It was really amazing for me to look out as Matt asked for my family and friends to raise their hands and see so many with their hand held high! I cannot express to all of you how much of a blessing you have been in my life!! I'm so glad that I could share that moment with all of you (the only way I wanted to experience it). Thank you for supporting me thus far!

I love you all!!


Gems:
my baptism
friends
family
Chipotle
the 80's

nothing can separate us, God

Preferred Edit, originally uploaded by perkyNbLue.

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will" (Romans 8:24-27).

"You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator" (Colossians 7-10).

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" (Colossians 15-17).

I was told to do reading. This is what really stood out to me. I wanted to share it with you before I head off to bed. I am oddly nervous about tomorrow, but mainly because I found out that I'm now going to be talking up there as well. I should have realized, but it's hard to speak your heart on the spot, in front of an entire congregation. I am so glad that my dad will be there though! I guess he's making his way to Flood after all! :)

[Gems later]


"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39).

i can fly... just let me soar

Starbucks at pdx, originally uploaded by facedorkface.

I guess the Starbucks dream is over...
I will be working at the YMCA again.
It's for the better, I'm sure.
I'm meant to work with kids.
So here I am...
Waiting for the day to soar.
Hoping the wait won't be too long.

As for the rest of the semester, I'm just going to try to not think about it and be as diligent as I possibly can be. I know it's not going to be easy but I also know that it's not helping my sanity by getting so worked up. With that said, I need to be more mindful about how I spend my time. I can't go out dancing as much as I have been and I'm going to just need to push through even when I don't understand something. I just want to get through these next two weeks alive! Prayers welcome.


Gems:
amazing night out
sleeping in
text messages
Starbucks
time for homework