three persons in perfect unity

hmm, originally uploaded by lrotts.

I'm frustrated.

It's not for a significant reason or a reasonable one at that... but that's just how I feel. I am not a bad student. Why do I feel so unmotivated? So undeserving? So inadequate?

I am acing midterms and passing CSET examinations... I would be surprised to find that I didn't pass the Capstone and I'm doing really well in history right now (a class I desperately wanted to drop!).

However, I am again faced with the fact that my math grade is slipping (out of my own foolishness) and the projects are seriously piling up for all of my classes. Are these teachers unaware that my brain is warped and deadened by that Capstone? Are they unaware that it's near to impossible to fake sincerity in busy work?

I am NOT able to do this on my own. I am NOT able to get through these trials on my own merit. I am NOT able to finish this rat race just because I want it. I absolutely NEED God. I NEED my friends. I NEED my family. I NEED my community. I NEED relationships. And I NEED to be open to them and the possibilities that lie ahead.

Make me less SELF-reliant and more INTER-reliant.
Bring me into CONSTANT communion with You and those around me.
Show me the ignorance of my frustration through undeniable LOVE!


Gems:
memories
ideas forming
lighting that fire
coming summer
trust in Him