no longer living life for only me

La Ballet, originally uploaded by Arman Zhenikeyev.

I'm feeling better, not feeling great, but much better. Keith came up to me last night, to share insight, and as he was talking, I almost started to tune him out. It's not that I don't respect his opinion or his input. I am just sick of everyone trying to solve my problems. My problems can't be solved by other people. God can. But more importantly, I can for a good amount of them as well.

Am I saying that I am faking hurt or fabricating pain? No, but a significant amount of my stress is due to a lack of positivity on my part. This site, which I found last night, has several tips about stress. Oddly, it also includes the information that Keith was trying to tell me about external and internal stressors. I think Keith was right, but I am sure that I would have rejected it if he had finished with all he was trying to tell me. So, thanks for planting the seed, but there's no reason to feel bad about the lack of follow-through.

I need to be intentional about feeling better. It is extremely easy for me to become ultra-negative and down on myself and others for the pain I'm feeling. I need to focus on the positives (or the gems) all throughout the day, rather than just once for this blog. I need to get more sleep and allow my body to reenergize (I slept 9 hours last night). I need quiet time to reflect, to connect with God, and get away from the mundane stresses of my life. I also need to exercise and continue my hobbies, so I'm glad that I'm still going dancing tomorrow night. I know it's only one day in the span of four, but it'll have to do.

I had a real prayer time with God last night and it was amazing. I felt relieved, calmed, comforted. Thanks to all of those who prayed for me last night or any other time over the past few weeks. Your prayers are much appreciated and I believe that they played a big part in my healing thus far.


Gems:
my dad's NOT severely sick (no cancer, no tumor, no ulcer)
love note left on my car... :D
my Capstone grade is in
study break tonight at Kava
the storms end is in view