ya know i'm gonna give it

Spring Love, originally uploaded by Jonathan!.

I had a bit of a revelation today. I know that I've lived a very sheltered lifestyle, even though I feel otherwise from time to time. Still, it always shocks me to find out just how different I am from the world around me. A friend of mine shared the number of sexual encounters that (s)he had, and I could hardly believe it.

Obviously, since I've never actually had sex, I have no number to compare to it, but the number of long-term relationships was just as stunning, I feel. Seven. That's not too many, but they were all longer than 6-months and at least one lasted several years. I tried to determine mine... I can really, honestly, unfortunately say one.

Just one. Before that relationship, I never stayed in a relationship for longer than a mere two months. I wasn't a serial dater... and actually, I think I've only had about eight or nine, in total, but I know when it's is a relationship that I don't want, I don't need, or won't grow into anything deeper. I commit myself to the person I'm with, but I refuse to commit to someone who is undeserving of me or who I can't support in any way that he might need.

I don't think I am overly serious about my relationships, pushing the men out of my life. Instead, it's the fact that I rush into everything I do. With relationships, that means that I find a person I want to be with, chase him, and if I catch him, I then begin to determine whether or not the relationship would be good for us.

I fully believe that there will be someone in my life who will someday tame my wild, impulsive nature, while encouraging me to continue expressing myself in healthy ways. Someone who I can and want to trust and who can and wants to be with me.

I fell asleep, twice, without actually posting this thing.
I'm just gunna get it submitted!

<sub>If you want my lovin
If you really do
Don't be afra-aid bab-ay
Just ask me
Ya know I'm gonna give it to you

Oh and I do declare (I do)
I Wanna see you with it
Stretch out your arms little boy
Your gonna get it
Cause I love you-oo
(Baby, baby, baby I love you)
There ain't no doubt about it
Baby I lo-ove you
(Baby, baby, baby I love you)
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, baby I love you
♫ Aretha Franklin</sub>